


Just Like Sleeping

by JillMarie



Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angsty Schmoop, Ghosts, Hurt Jared, Hurt/Comfort, J2 AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 11:10:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 21,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7571947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JillMarie/pseuds/JillMarie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen moves away from his abusive family to live on his own for the first time in his life.  Only he's not quite alone. A ghost named Jared is doing everything he can to get Jensen's attention.   When Jensen learns that Jared isn't exactly a ghost he works against his introverted nature to help Jared get back to his family.  It's  mash up of Just Like Heaven and While You Were Sleeping.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Finished for the 2016 wip big bang challenge because the wonderful stormbrite chose to create art for it. Which you can see here. http://stormbrite.livejournal.com/22977.html

 

The first night Jensen spent in the hundred-fifty year old house he rented, he was so exhausted from moving, he fell asleep the moment his head hit his pillow.

The second night as he laid on his new mattress and secondhand bed, his mind was too busy to let him sleep. He worried about living alone for the first time in his life. He worried about paying his bills. He worried about the strange noises he kept hearing. “Old houses make noises,” he told himself rather unconvincingly. “The wood creaks and shingles rattle. It's nothing. It's normal. Get used to it. It's nothing unusual.”

 

By the end of his first week in his house, Jensen had turned 'it's an old house' into a mantra. Weird creak – 'it's an old house'; lights flickering – 'it's an old house'; cold spots 'it's an old house, drafts are normal'.

One day, while Jensen washed his dishes, he heard the front door open. He wiped his hands and called, “Hello?” but no one answered. He stood at the entrance to his kitchen and peered into the front hall. “Hello?” he repeated, but instead of an answer he got a chill down his spine. Shaking it off, he laughed at himself. “Gotta get used to livin’ alone in a big ol’ house, Jensen.”

The weird sounds and flickering lights Jensen blamed on the age of the house. When things started moving on their own...

First, his nail polish vanished. His onyx nails helped ground him. Jensen knew he had left the polish on the moving box he used as a coffee table, but for the life of him he couldn't find it. Then his beanie was never where he left it. When he thought he left it in his room, he'd find it by the door. When he left the beanie on the couch, he found it in the kitchen instead.

One day he woke to discover his glasses missing. He had been reading in bed so he was certain his glasses should be on his bedside table. Unfortunately, he didn't find them until he stepped on them in the hallway outside his bedroom door.

Jensen popped the lens back into place and muttered, “I know I didn't fucking leave them on the hall floor.”

However, even that incident didn’t convince him that something supernatural was happening.  But that conviction would change as easily as the weather.

 

That night a violent thunderstorm rolled in, causing the lights to flicker with every flash of lightning. They finally blinked out, leaving Jensen cursing in complete darkness. He reminded himself with a sigh that weak wiring was to be expected in a house so old.

Carefully Jensen made his way to the kitchen cupboard for candles and matches.  He left a candle burning in the kitchen and took a few more and the matches with him. In the living room, he lit the oil lamp and gasped when a shadow flit across the wall. He spun around expecting to see someone, and then shook his head at his fears. Jensen, don’t be afraid of your own shadow.

He curled up on his threadbare couch and picked up his worn copy of Good Omens. The oil lamp gave him just enough light to finish reading.

As the storm raged outside, Jensen prayed it wouldn’t worsen to a tornado. A tornado meant going into the spooky basement. There were cobwebs, dead mice and creepy crawly things Jensen didn't want to think about.

He lost track of time as he read, but during the night the storm lessened to driving rain. As it pelted the windows, it lulled Jensen to sleep.

 

The next morning, Jensen awoke with the odd sensation of being watched. He rubbed his eyes as he sat up and twisted his head around to work out the kink in his neck from sleeping on the couch. As his brain woke up, he slowly opened his eyes. “What the fuck?”

Jensen stood and a blanket fell from his body onto the floor. He was certain he fell asleep reading which meant he fell asleep wearing his glasses and holding his book. With a rapidly rising heart rate, Jensen found his glasses folded on top of his closed book. His eyes darted toward the oil lamp. It wasn't still burning but the oil hadn’t burned away.

“Candle,” he mumbled to himself, tripping over the blanket as he hurried to check the candle he had left burning in the kitchen. Stumbling backwards, he stared at the blanket he never pulled over himself. Goose flesh pebbled his skin and the hair on the back of his neck stood out. He pressed his lips together to muffle his high-pitched whine of fear and ran to the kitchen.

The candle he left burning the night before melted away to nothing giving him a small sense of relief. He rested against the counter, getting both his nerves and his breathing under control. But, as Jensen tried to calm down, his gaze returned to the living room. He had fallen asleep wearing his glasses, reading his book and with the oil lamp burning. He was sure of it. How the hell did his glasses and book end up on the table next to the extinguished lamp?

Jensen's mind immediately jumped to worse case scenario: Someone broke into his house!  He rushed around checking if anything had been stolen when he spotted the blanket on the floor. Why would someone break into his house only to risk getting caught when they covered him with a blanket? He sighed. He had nothing worth stealing. Surely no one would remove the glasses of their victim and cover them with a blanket. It was absurd.

He shook the incident from his mind. He must have done these things himself only he was too tired to remember. The blanket could have fallen from the back of the couch to cover him. Of course there was a reasonable explanation.

Jensen took a few calming breaths. He was obviously overreacting. He needed to relax. Actually, he needed to get laid. But, being between boyfriends meant if he wanted sex he had to rely on a random grindr hook up. Nine a.m. on a Saturday wasn’t the best time to try that. Jensen sighed; he’d be flying solo.

 

He took his laptop to his room and opened to his favorite porn site. As the video began to play, Jensen stripped and got his dildo and lube from the bedside table and got comfortable on his bed. He shrugged off the unusually cool temperature of his room knowing he’d be warm in no time. He poured a drop of lube into his palm, pressed his hands together to warm it, then dropped his hand to his cock. His fingers dragged leisurely over his shaft to the base and back to the tip. Lightly brushing over and over again building anticipation as he built momentum. He tightened his grip and let his other hand cup his balls, tugging them as he stroked his cock. When he was close, he let go and with one hand reached for the dildo as a finger of the other hand rubbed over his entrance. His laptop screen froze, Jensen cursed, and it flashed back to the video replay.

His heart danced in his chest. He didn't want to stop touching himself even though he knew the toy needed lube if it was going to feel as good as he remembered. Flipping the cap with one hand, he dribbled a tiny drop onto the head of the fake cock and rubbed his palm over it. As the tip of the toy swirled around his palm, Jensen pushed a finger inside. He worked it in and out as he slid his hand down the fake shaft to coat it with a thin layer of lube.

His laptop screen scrambled and then flickered back just as one porn star guy thrust inside his partner. When the screen showed a close up of the bottom actor’s hole as his partner slowly dragged his cock out, Jensen shoved the dildo inside himself, groaning at the burn and stretch of it. He gradually pulled it all the way out. Then he vigorously worked it back in over and over again in time with the duo on his screen. As their moans intensified so did his own and he brought his other hand back to his cock, working himself to full hardness.

On the laptop, the bottomactor whined that he was going to come. The top worked his hips in a circle, gripping the hips of the bottom tight enough to whiten the flesh around his fingers. “Yeah, come on my cock,” he growled. The laptop flickered off and back on again.

The bottom arched his back and moaned loudly as his partner pounded harder and harder.  When he shouted his release, the top actor pulled out, flipped him onto his back and came all over his partner's chest and softening cock. When he ran a finger through his mess and fed his come to the bottom, Jensen's eyes closed, his toes curled and he came with an embarrassingly loud moan that echoed his in room.

 

More relaxed than he felt in days, Jensen decided to spend his Saturday out of the house.  He showered and made a list of things he needed from the store and locked the door behind him.

 

* * *

The sky was a brilliant blue without a trace of last night's storm clouds. Saturdays meant the town square would be fullof dozens of merchants selling their wares under tiny tents. At one of the corners, a couple set up a sign that read Stop for Your Psychic Reading And Learn What the Universe has in Store for YOU.

Two booths away, a young man sat selling used books. At the back of his booth he had a sign that read Chad Lindberg, Certified Paranormal Investigator - No job too small. Jensen paused, his fingers tracing over the spines of the books, but his eyes on the sign. “Can I help you?”

Jensen tore his eyes from the sign. “Exactly how does one get certified in paranormal investigation?”

Chad narrowed his eyes and looked Jensen over from the hipster beanie to the biker boots to his black painted nails. He was ready to toss a flip remark back at him until he saw the way Jensen was nervously toying with the piercing in his lip. “I studied at the Institute of Forensic Parapsychology in England and did field work with some well-known paranormal researchers. I've got the credentials to prove it.”

“Huh.” Jensen rubbed his chin as he studied the books the man was selling. “Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.” Chad braced himself for the expected tired joke at his expense.

“I’ve seen a lot of them ghost hunting shows. Why do you guys always work in the dark? I mean if the ghost or whatever is around all the time why do you have to shut off the lights?”

Chad’s eyes widened in pleasant surprise. “Well, you see, it’s like this. Many spirits use electricity to manifest. A lot of investigators believe that limiting the source of electricity to just the equipment, will provide more evidence of the existence of something paranormal.”

Jensen nodded. “So that’s why they get so excited when their equipment fails.”

“Yeah. As long as they tested it and it was working properly before exposure to the spirit.”

“Hmm, cool.” Jensen worried his lip ring for a moment before asking, “So if a person wants to contact a ghost, should they give them more electricity?”

Chad paused, suddenly nervous for the guy asking so many questions. “Look, man, contacting spirits is dangerous. You might think you’re dealing with Casper, but really you’ve got Ed Gein or Ted Bundy waiting to wake up and say ‘hello’.”

Jensen smirked. “Right.”

But Chad remained serious. “I’m not joking around. This shit’s serious and amateurs often get themselves in trouble.”

Jensen rolled his eyes, but then he saw an opportunity to learn the truth. “Okay. Well weird stuff has been happening at my place. Is there a way I can, I don’t know, test for ghosts before I call you experts?”

Chad scrubbed a hand over his face as he studied Jensen. The guy seemed sincere and since he said he would call.... “Here, let me get you some stuff.” Chad grabbed a couple books and a DVD and stuffed them in a bag. “Look this stuff over. I mean, study it. Know what you're getting into before you jump in.” He began to hand the bag over but then drew it back and added, “This isn't like the movies.  Sometimes it's boring as hell and other times it's actually Hell – with a capital H.”

He handed the bag over and Jensen took it once he was sure Chad wasn't going to pull it back again. “Thanks. What do I owe you?”

Chad squinted. “Your responsible behavior. If you think for one minute you've got something serious, you come back here.”

Jensen nodded. “Deal.”

“And keep a record of the ‘weird‘ stuff’. Debunk everything you can. If lights are flashing, make sure it’s not faulty wiring. If you hear noises, check if it’s mice or the neighbors. After all that, if you haven’t discovered the actual cause of whatever you have going on,” Chad grabbed a business card from the table, “stop by my shop. We’ll talk.”

Jensen thanked him and pocketed the card he was offered.

 

Once Jensen walked away, Chad settled back in his chair. “That boy’s going to be calling on you,” said the woman from the stall next to him.

“Loretta, you’d make more money if you used your gift for seeing instead of your gift for canning,” Chad said to the woman in the next booth.

“And be thrown in those charlatans?” she asked throwing a hand in the directions of the ‘psychics’ at the end of their row.

Chad laughed. “You’d work one day and put them all to shame.” He looked around for Jensen and then asked, “Do you know why that guy’s going to be calling me?”

Loretta shook her head. “No, but he’ll call and you’ll give him some peace of mind. He’s at the end of his nerves.”

* * *

A few days went by and Jensen had nearly forgotten the incident from the stormy night. Just as he had been about to accept that his mind was playing tricks on him, his television started to change channels on its own.

Jensen turned on The Big Bang Theory reruns and the channel switched to ESPN. After the third time, Jensen went to see if his neighbors were close enough to have a remote affect his television. None were.

When he returned to his house, Jensen changed the channel back to his reruns and said to his empty room, “Change it again and I'm shutting it off.” He sat back feeling defiant and powerful and a little stupid for talking to an empty room – until the theme from ESPN’s SportsCenter began to play.

“Shit,” he muttered under his breath and unplugged the television.

_Guess I'm staying out of this room_. He picked up his Chuck Palahniuk book and went to the kitchen to grab a beer. He could relax upstairs in his room with a beer and a book.

When he walked past the living room to get to the stairs, the remote was spinning on the coffee table.

The sight sent Jensen into a full panic. He dropped his beer and ran back to the kitchen. In his wallet he found the card the bookseller had given him: Chad Lindberg Paranormal Investigator. Jensen checked his watch, the book shop should still be open. He peeked into the living room but the remote had stopped spinning. It didn't matter, Jensen grabbed his keys, and flew out the door.

 

 

Jensen walked the length of the sidewalk a few times, peering into Chad’s book store with each pass. There were two guys loitering in the back of the store with Chad, but Jensen didn’t see any customers. Deciding not to make a fool of himself with his overreaction, Jensen turned around and nearly crashed into a matronly looking Black woman. She raised a brow at him as she stepped out of his way.

Jensen was used to looks like that. His ink and piercings made the matronly types cringe. He ducked his head and mumbled, “Excuse me.”

“You know, you should go on in to Chad’s shop. You do any more pacing and that sidewalk will need replacing.”

As Jensen blinked in surprise at her comment, she opened the door to the bookstore. “Chad,” she hollered, “You’ve got a customer. Stop yammering with those two yahoos and give this boy some help.”

“Sure thing, Loretta.” Chad hopped over the counter and crossed the store to meet Jensen right inside the door. “Hi, I’m Chad. Oh hey, I remember you. How can I help you, man?”

Jensen tamped down his blush and rubbed at his arm. “Uh, it’s nothing really. I, uh, there’s some --”

“More weird things happening?”

Jensen nodded. “And my landlady had the wiring checked.  The house is old, but she had everything redone two years ago.” Chad nodded. “She also had an exterminator clear the place the month before I moved in, so uh, no mice.”

“Hmm, okay. Tell me what's been happening.”

Jensen rubbed his chin. He had nothing to lose by telling this guy about the house. “The television channels switched on their own and stuff gets moved. Like just now, the tv remote was spinning on my coffee table with no one touching it.”

He was waiting for a sarcastic remark, a joke about his sanity, but Chad surprised him. “Well it could be any number of things. What makes you think it’s something paranormal.”

“I eliminated electrical problems and interference from the neighbors. I don’t have mice or a roommate and I changed the locks, so no one has a key.” Jensen shrugged.

Chad studied him for a minute. “So now you believe ghosts are responsible?”

“I don't know,” Jensen replied sounding every bit as frustrated as he felt. “But I don't know what else to do and you’re the expert on ghosts.”

Chad rubbed his chin in thought. “Okay. Most ghosts are spirits that have unfinished business. You simply have to help them find their way.”

“And how do I do that?”

“Well, you've got to communicate with it.” Chad gathered some books and dvds and set them on the counter.

“Communicate? How do I communicate with a ghost?”

“Electronic Voice Phenomenon is one way,” Chad replied. “Sometimes a spirit can hear you, but you can’t hear it. A digital tape recorder can pick up more than what the human ear can hear.  Ask the spirit questions, play the tape at different speeds and let me tell you, I have heard plenty back from our spirit friends.”

Jensen raised a dubious brow but Chad ignored it. “Have you had a chance to look at those books and dvds I gave you?”

With a shrug of apology Jensen said, “Not really.”

Chad nodded. “Well, look ‘em over. Then, get yourself a digital recorder and try doin’ an EVP session. Maybe you’ll learn something about the ghost. If it's not a ghost, maybe Traci can help you.”

“Traci?” Jensen wrinkled his nose. “Who’s Traci?”

“Traci is a powerful psychic. She can help whether you have a ghost or some other kind of spirit,” Chad explained.

Jensen shook his head. What had he gotten himself into?

 

Back at his house, Jensen decided to 'make friends' with the ghost so that it would leave him alone and he could study the books from Chad. In his living room, Jensen noticed that everything looked neater; like someone had straightened up. He couldn't put his finger on it, but pillows looked fluffed in their corners of the couch, his remotes were lined up on the coffee table, and papers were neatly stacked. Was the ghost cleaning up after him?

Feeling ridiculous, he spoke to his empty living room. “Thank you for tidying up. I've got some studying to do so I'll turn on SportsCenter if you let me study in peace.” That being said, Jensen rolled his eyes at himself and plugged in the television. He tuned it to ESPN and went to his room to read Chad's books.

* * *

 

During the following week, Jensen only noticed a few 'weird' things. His favorite beanie was never where he left it, his kitchen light was always on, and he was talking to empty rooms. He wasn't recording his conversations, but he was getting used to the idea that he wasn't quite alone.

Friday's paycheck bought a new digital recorder and editing software for his laptop. After studying the notes he made while reading Chad's books and watching the dvds, Jensen went to his living room to begin his first attempt at communication.

First, he decided to make a few changes to the usual ghost hunter technique. He decided to give his ghost as much electricity as possible. He turned on his television, but left the cable off. Next came his old vcr and an old stereo receiver. He plugged in his phone charger and let it charge nothing, a crime for which his father always punished him. Then, he lit some candles, closed the curtains, and got comfortable on his couch.

He took a deep breath, pressed record, and said in a loud clear voice, “My name is Jensen and this is my house. Who are you and what are you doing here?”

He waited a minute and asked, “What do you want from me?”

“What can I do to help you?”

“Do you want my help?”

“Are you the one hiding my hat and moving my stuff?”

Jensen had waited a nearly a minute between questions and was hoping to get something on the recorder when he heard and electrical zap from across the room.

With a shaky breath he asked, “Are you here now? What's your name? I'm Jensen and this is my house. What do you want here?”

Again, an electrical buzzing and a snap came from his old stereo. “Who are you? Do you need help?” Too excited to wait for an answer, Jensen asked, “How long have you been here? What can I do to help you move on?”

Something popped across the room causing Jensen to gasp, but he knew he needed to keep going. “What happened to you? Why are you stuck here?”

He tried to calm himself and give the spirit time to answer, but he was eager to play the tape back so he said, “Hey, uh, ghostie, I'm going to rewind this thing I'm holding and see if I can hear you so, uh, don't freak out and don't go anywhere.”

Jensen rewound to the beginning and pressed play, cringing at the sound of his recorded voice. Then, he swore he heard something on the playback. He had hoped he wouldn't have to rely on the software for the results, so he tried speeding up the playback. And there, quiet, but distinct, was a voice. “I know who you are dumb-ass, I've been here since before you moved in.”

Jensen gasped and nearly dropped the recorder. At the same time, there were three loud snaps across the room.

The recorder continued playing and after remembering the change in speed, Jensen heard his voice like a chipmunk and the other voice replying, “I want you to see me or hear me or anything! I just want to go home.”

Jensen swallowed at the pain in the voice and spoke to the not so empty room, “Okay, I can't see you, but now I can hear you. And I really want to get you home. Do you know where home is? Who are you?”

He pressed record and waited.

When he pressed play, the voice sounded much less defeated. “Oh my god, you can hear me! I’m not a ghost. I'm sorry I called you a dumb-ass, but I --” the recording cut out.

“Shit, sorry,” Jensen mumbled. “Guess I was too eager to hear what you had to say. I'll give you more time to talk this time. Tell me your name and what you're doing here.” He pressed record and counted out two agonizing minutes before hitting the playback.

“My name's Jared Pada--” there was a burst of static then the voice went on, “I don't know how I got here. I don't know where here is, either. Damn, it's good to--” A shrill whistle pierced the air and Jensen winced. “who can hear me. Sorry if I scared you. I was just trying to get you to--.” Jared’s voice cut off.

Jensen began to smile as he looked around the room. His ghost had a name, and he didn't sound that much older than Jensen. “It's okay, Jared, I'm not scared, well, not anymore. Tell me about yourself. How old are you? Were you? What happened to you? Why haven't you moved on?”

With a loud crackle coming from the stereo, Jensen pressed record and watched the counter on the recorder. After a minute he said, “Okay, I'm going to play this now.”

“I'm twenty-one and I attend the university. I don't know what happened to me or why I'm stuck here. One night I was walking down the street and the next thing I knew I was in this house and I couldn't leave.”

Jensen flipped through his notes until he found something about dealing with ghosts that didn't know they were dead. “Jared, did you know Susan, my landlady?” Jensen thought Susan was too nice to be a killer, but he'd seen enough television to think anything was possible.

“Susan? No, I don't know a Susan.”

The stereo receiver hissed and crackled again. Jensen rubbed his lip in thought. “Jared, what's your last name again? I'll try to find out what happened to you.”

“Padale --” A loud pop came from the stereo followed by a puff of smoke.

“Oh shit!” Jensen rushed to unplug the stereo but it was too late. A component inside the unit had caught fire. Jensen carried it out onto his driveway, and sprayed it with the extinguisher from the garage.

“Sorry, Jared,” Jensen said when he reentered the house. “We just torched my old stereo. I don’t think I’ve got enough power to hear you now. Tomorrow I’ll go downtown and get better equipment. Then maybe we can have a proper conversation.”

He sat back on his couch and said to his not so empty room, “I’ll turn on Netflix and we can watch whatever you want.”

 

 

The next day Jensen came home with several old radios and a transmitter. He spent the afternoon disassembling them and building a device he thought would be powerful enough to capture Jared’s voice.

When he finally attached a new, very sensitive microphone, Jensen felt ready to communicate with Jared again. Tentatively he cleared his throat and called out, “Jared?”

“Where’s the recorder? How are you going – holy shit! Jensen, how did you do that?”

Jensen laughed. “Jared? I’m guessing that’s you?’

“Yeah. It’s me. How are you hearing me in real time? This is awesome! I can just talk and you can hear me. Why can I do that now when I’ve never been able to do it before?””

With a humble shrug Jensen said, “I added a generator to the transmitter to give you more power. Then I adjusted the frequency modulator and amped up the receiver a bit. Attached it all to some sensitive speakers and a special microphone. No big deal.”

Jared laughed at Jensen’s modesty. “No big deal? It’s a {loud burst of static} miracle to me. You’re like a freaking genius or something.”

“Not hardly.” Jensen rolled his eyes and sat back on his couch. “Okay, well, now that we can talk, tell me what happened to you and why you’re haunting my house.”

The air shifted next to Jensen and he could have sworn that someone just sat down beside him.

“I’m not haunting anything. I’m not a ghost. I can’t be. I’m not dead.”

“Right,” Jensen sighed. Poor guy didn't even know he was dead. He tried to remember what Chad's books mentioned about ghosts like Jared. “Okay you’re not dead, but you’re not quite alive either. Or at least you’re not in the same plain of existence as me. Can we agree on that much?”

“I guess.”

“Alright. So tell me how you ended up stuck in my house.”

“I told you I don’t know. I was walking down the street, then everything went black and I woke up here.”

“Well what were you doing right before you were walking down the street?”

It was quiet for a moment then Jared said, “I don’t remember.”

Jensen could feel Jared’s frustration as if it were wet wool blanket weighing him down. “Hey, it’s okay, Jared, we’ll figure it out, okay?”

“I've been trying to figure it out for months,” Jared replied in a voice so quiet Jensen almost didn’t hear him.

“Are you always here? I mean, like all day every day?”

“Yeah.”

“Damn, that must get boring.” Jensen smirked, “Is that why you're always moving my stuff? Trying to keep yourself entertained?”

To Jensen’s delight, Jared laughed. “I can’t always do it, but it’s funny to see your reaction.”

“Is that why my hat is always in a different spot?”

“Yeah, I wanted you to notice me,” Jared replied sheepishly.

“Well, you were hard to miss when you covered me in a blanket and put out my lamp,” Jensen reminded him.  “How were you able to do so much that night?”

“I think it was the storm. There was so much electricity in the air that I was able to do a lot. I thought you saw me, but I guess you didn’t.”

“You freaked the fuck out of me. If I’d have seen you I probably would have fainted.”

Jared snickered. “Nah, that was later.”

“What was later?”

“Nothing.”

“Jared.”

“I forgot you could hear me and I was laughing at what you said about the ‘fuck out of you’. I said that happened later.”

“What do you mean?” Jensen asked as his mind went back to that day. Finally, trying to control his embarrassment and his anger Jensen demanded, “Were you in my room? Did you watch me jerk off?”

“Uh…”

“Jesus, Jared! That is NOT OKAY!” Jensen jumped to his feet. “My ghost is a fuckin' perv! Stay the fuck away from me.”

“Jensen I'm sorry. I --”

“No. Fuck you, Jared. Get out of my house.” Jensen grabbed his jacket and stormed out the house slamming the door behind him.

Who the fuck does he think he is? Jensen shook himself. He felt violated and resentful. He had moved away from everyone he knew in order to start over and be alone. Now here he was standing on the sidewalk in front of His House. “What the fuck am I doing? It's my house!”

He plowed back into his house. “This is MY house, Jared. I want you out! You hear me, asshole?!” As he spoke he began to unplug every electrical device he saw. “I don't want you here. You need to move on to wherever it is that ghosties go when they die.”

Snatching a flash light from the top of his refrigerator, he squared his shoulders and descended the stairs to his creepy, dusty basement. After tripping over a bag of softener salt, Jensen spotted the main fuse box. “Try powering up now, ass wipe,” Jensen muttered as he shut down the main circuit.

Instantly the house became eerily quiet.

He marched up the steps, grabbed his laptop and headed out the back door.

He sat at the patio table his landlady left behind and turned on his laptop.  Too embarrassed to call Chad with this new development, Jensen spent the next few hours researching ghost protection. He needed to learn how to keep Jared out of his room. Finally, he landed on the Ghostfacers website. They didn't have much more information than Chad's materials. But, according to them, salt acted as a boundary, preventing the ghost from passing over it.

Jensen looked toward his house. He didn't know exactly where Jared was which meant he couldn't keep Jared inside a certain area. However, he might be able to keep him out of a particular room.

Back in the house, he set his laptop on the kitchen table and snatched upthe flashlight. He once again braved the creepy basement, this time retrieving the bag of softener salt. Without saying a word, he went to his room and poured a line of salt over the threshold. Then, he poured the rest of it along the walls of his room, making a complete outline. He sneered. Now Jared couldn't get into his room or if he was already there, he wouldn't be able to leave it.

Feeling pretty pleased with himself, Jensen returned to the basement to turn the breaker back on. As he passed the kitchen, he noticed his laptop powering down. “Figures the battery would die. Jared probably drained it.”

Jensen found his power cord and retreated to his room with his laptop. He ignored the chill he felt and the hair standing up on the back of his neck as he made his way up the stairs.

The moment Jensen crossed into his room, the cold disappeared. He swore he heard a near silent thud, but he didn't know where it came from. From the warmth of his room, Jensen knew Jared wasn't in it and he smiled. At least he had some privacy.

When he powered on his laptop, a new document page was open. On it were the words: “I am so sorry. Please J ”.

* * *

 

In the morning, Jensen paced his room, worrying his lip and raking a hand through his hair as he thought. Maybe he had been too hard on Jared. The guy hadn't had personal interaction with anyone in a long time. Had Jared forgotten how to be around other people? Or was he just a phenomenal asshole?

It didn’t matter. This was his fucking house. Whether or not Jared was a nice guy, Jensen wasn't going to let some ghost keep him trapped in his room. Jared had to go.

When Jensen left his room he noticed the distinct temperature change. The hallway was much cooler and again the hair on his neck stood on end. “I said leave me alone, Jared.”

As he past his living room, Jensen noticed the light on his digital recorder was flashing. He stared at it for a moment. It had been set for voice activation so it probably contained a message from Jared.

“Jensen, please listen. I'm truly sorry. You're right I shouldn't have watched you. I should have given you your privacy. Please don’t be mad. You don't know what it's like to be alone for so long. I haven't talked with anyone in a long time. I'm sorry. I promise I'll never do it again.” The tape went silent for a minute and Jensen was about to shut it off when he heard Jared continue, “It’s not like I knew what you were going to do and well, you’re hot. And watching you was like live in person porn. Please give me another chance. I’m sorry. Please don't hate me.”

“Fuck, this is so embarrassing,” Jensen groaned to himself. He dragged a hand over his face, wiping away his shamed expression. Jared sounded sincere and remorseful. Jensen didn't have to give him another chance, but If he wanted him out of his house permanently he was going to need more information. “Alright, Jared, don’t do it again. My room is off limits! You are not allowed in my room or my bathroom. Got it?” He turned on the recorder and waited.

After a few minutes Jensen pressed play and listened to Jared say, “Yeah, okay, of course. I’m sorry, Jensen. But I meant what I said. That was like the hottest thing I've ever seen and I just couldn’t help it.”

“I don't care. It's not cool, Jared.” Still angry at the invasion of his privacy, Jensen went into the kitchen. The hairs on the back of his neck rose and goosebumps rose on his skin and Jensen knew Jared was standing behind him. “Jared, I want you out of my house so I'm still going to help you.” He picked up the pad of paper and snagged a Red Bull from the refrigerator. “I'm going to turn on the equipment so we can talk without the recorder.”

Jensen returned to his living room and turned on the generator and transmitter. Then he got comfortable on his couch. How was he going to get this spirit out of his house?

“I’m sorry and you’re right. I should have given you your privacy.” Jared's voice rang out from the speakers.  “I finally get someone to notice me and I act like a complete asshole.”

“Can we just pretend it never happened?” Jensen wanted to focus on the task at hand.

“Of course.” Both of them were quiet for a minute or two before Jared spoke again. “It’s just you have no idea how lonely I am.”

Jensen sighed. “Look, I’m sure being dead sucks but don’t watch me jerk off, man. It’s weird.” Jensen’s voice had lost its anger. He could kind of sympathize with Jared. He wasn’t dead, but he was just as lonely.

He picked up his pad of paper and said, “Hey, uh, so, why don’t you tell me all about yourself and maybe I can find out how I’m supposed to help you move on.”

“Okay. But, I keep telling you I’m not dead.”

“Right, I know, sorry. Tell me where you’re from and what you remember before you ended up here.”

“I’m from here in town, but I live in the dorms.” Jared was quiet for awhile. “Or at least I used to.”

“The dorms? That's right you said you went to the university. How old are you?” Jensen asked suddenly sitting up and writing in his notebook.

“I'm twenty-one. At least, I think I am. That's how old I was before this happened to me.”

“How long have you been like this, Jared?”

“I don't know.”

“Do you know what year it is?”

“Of course I do. It’s twenty-sixteen.”

Jensen sat quietly, smoothing his hand over his notebook. It must suck to have your life torn away from you. He had chosen to move away from his family and start over. Jared was forced into his separation.

“What about your family?” Jensen asked hoping to keep Jared from sounding so depressed.

“I have an older brother and a younger sister. My brother goes to Northwestern and my little sister’s still in high school.”

Jensen’s mouth twisted and he humphed.

“What?”

“Nothing. I have an older brother and a younger sister, too, that’s all.”

“Oh, I guess y’all aren’t that close. I mean, I haven’t seen them come by at all.”

“And they won’t be.  I'm kinda the black sheep.”  Jensen cleared his throat. “Hey, this is supposed to be about you, not me. I need to know everything about you so I can find out how to help you. Tell me everything you remember about your life. Tomorrow I’ll try to find out where the rest of you is hiding. And we’ll figure out where to go from there.”

“Thank you for helping me. You don’t even know me, but you’re being so nice to me.”

“No, I’m not. I wanted to live alone. Finding out I have a roommate that I didn’t even get to choose is kind of shitty.”  Jensen tried to hide his smirk behind his hand.

“Thanks, asshole. Have fun finding your cute little beanie tomorrow.”

Jensen laughed.  “I'll just bring it into my room. You can't get it there.”

“Damn, you're right. But you can't take everything into your room.  I'll think of something.”

They talked the rest of the afternoon. Jared told him about his family and his friends and Jensen wrote down the facts he thought would help him find Jared.

* * *

 

During his lunch hour the next day, Jensen researched Jared Padalecki. He had been expecting to learn where Jared was buried. The Ghostfacers website said that Jensen would have to salt and burn Jared's bones to get the spirit out of his house.  It was a task Jensen was not looking forward to.

 

But Jensen didn't find burial information. Instead he found images of Jared. Lots of images of Jared. His chest constricted and he flushed bright red.  This guy? This fucking hot-as-hell guy was the one who had watched him jerk off? Jensen felt himself blushing and his breath was coming in panicked pants. This guy thought he was hot?!

Dead, Jensen reminded himself.  This dead guy thought he was hot.  Wasn't that just his luck?  Jensen sighed. He had to find where Jared was buried and put the guy to rest.

He added the words dead and buried to his search but came up empty. Stumped he tried adding suicide. Again, no results. Going back to just searching Jared's name, Jensen learned that Jared was an all star athlete. He had won a scholarship for lacrosse and was an academic decathlete. The guy was practically perfect; he was athletic, smart and seriously good looking.

As his lunch hour ended, Jensen found an article about a car accident.  Just before Jensen had moved in, Jared had been struck by a car just two houses away from Jensen's home.  Jared was right. He wasn't dead. But how had he gotten into Jensen's home and why was he still there?   And most importantly, where was the rest of Jared?

Jensen's afternoon was a waste.  His mind was swirling with so many thoughts of Jared he was unable to concentrate on anything else.   When his shift was finally over,  he went to a coffee shop to learn more about Jared.  He didn't want to go home until he had solid information to tell Jared.

He looked at the page of images of Jared.  The guy always seemed to be smiling.  There was one with a group of guys all wearing their varsity jackets that made Jensen's stomach drop.  Those were the kind of guys that made Jensen's time in high school a living hell.  He lost track of the number of black eyes and bloody lips guys like that gave him just because he was different, because he was gay.  He could handle them one on one, but they always seemed to travel in packs.  Bile rose in his throat as he looked at the picture of Jared and his friends.  All the more reason to get Jared out of his house.

Finally he found one of Jared and people who looked like his family. Their names matched the notes he took the day before, so he followed the link to a facebook page.  Megan Padalecki had a very busy page, but Jensen noticed a picture of her next to a hospital bed. Finally the clue he needed to find Jared.

According to her post, Jared was in a coma.  He had hadn't woken up since the car accident.  Her post was a few weeks old, but if Jared's condition had changed, Megan would have posted it.   He copied down the name of the hospital and looked up its address.  It was only a half hour away.

 

After making the rounds of patient rooms on the second floor, Jensen realized he was going to have to ask for Jared's room.  He didn't know how to explain who he was, or how he knew Jared, and he didn't want Jared's family to find out about him.  He tried to think of a cover story as he approached the nurse's station.   Then he saw it. Names and room numbers on a big white board.  It was just first names, but it would be enough to narrow his search.  Finally on the fifth floor the white board listed a Jared.  It actually listed two Jareds so Jensen chose the one that was closest.

The room was dark and the only noise was coming from the machine that was breathing for Jared. Jensen moved to get a better look. It wasn't Jared Padalecki.  “Hope you get better soon, man,” Jensen whispered to the prone figure and went in search of the other room.

The moment he entered, Jensen knew he was in the right room.  Balloons, flowers and cards were everywhere, reminding Jared that he had friends and family that cared about him.  Jensen felt a pang of jealousy.  Would anyone notice if something happened to him?  His room would look like the other Jared's: barren and dark.

Jared seemed to be sleeping peacefully.  Except for the machines keeping him alive, he looked like nothing was wrong with him.  Jensen stepped up to the bed and rested his hand on Jared's arm. “Hey, I don't know how, but I'm going to get you back together.  Just hold on a little longer.” He took a moment to appreciate Jared.  The pictures did not do the guy justice. He was better looking in person and Jensen wished Jared would open his eyes so he could see their true color.

As he left Jared's room, he bumped into a woman carrying a small plant. “Sorry, excuse me.”  He steadied her with a hand on her elbow.

“Wasn't expecting visitors. I'm sorry.”  The woman looked up into Jensen's eyes. “Oh, hi, I don't --”

“Yeah, sorry,” Jensen quickly interrupted. “Wrong room.” He hurried down the hall toward the other Jared's room in case the woman watched where he went.  He looked over his shoulder as he came upon the other room and saw Jared's mom watching him with a peculiar expression.

  
  
Jensen raced home eager to share with Jared all that he had learned. But the moment he pulled in his drive, he froze. He hadn't really learned anything Jared didn't know.  Okay, he could confirm Jared wasn't dead but he had no idea how to get him back into his body.  Actually he learned that Jared was a jock just like the ones that tortured him in high school. And he learned that Jared's family cared enough about him to visit him and write posts about him.  Maybe knowing where the rest of Jared was would be enough to get him out of his house.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's some more of stormbrite's incredible artwork

 

It was late and his house was dark, but when Jensen entered a light flickered on in the living room. “Hello, Jared,” he called to his not so empty house. He set down his bag and laptop, grabbed a beer and went into the living room. He saw the light flashing on the recorder but he turned on the transmitter and generator anyway. “Sorry I'm late.”

“Don't be. I'm not actually good at keeping time anyway.” Jared sniffed. “What's that smell? I know that smell. You smell like....”

“Are you saying I stink?” Jensen teased. “I'll go take a shower. Wait here. Remember shower is off limits too.”

“Don't flatter yourself. You're not that pretty.”

Jensen raised a dubious brow.

“Okay, you are. But I promised and I keep my word.”

Jensen stood to go but then sat back down. “I found you today. Found out who you are.”

Jared swallowed. He already knew who he was, but who did Jensen think he was? “What do you mean?”

“You’re Jared Padalecki. You’re twenty one and you’re a star athlete attending the university on a full lacrosse scholarship.”

Jared couldn’t understand why any of that would upset Jensen. “I don’t get it. I’m not dead, am I?”

“No.”

“So then why do you seem upset?”

_Because you look like all the guys that made my high school life a living hell_ , Jensen thought to himself. “I'm not upset. I just don't know how to get you back to your body.”

“Where am I?”

“Saint Micheal's. You're in a coma.”

Jensen became chilled and felt the couch shift and knew Jared must be next to him. “I found you online,” he continued. “Then I found your sister's facebook post about you. You were hit by a car just down the street from here. You've been in a coma ever since.”

“Am I going to die?” Jared asked voice tiny frightened voice.

“No. You were breathing and the machine showed your heart was beating. We just have to find a way to get your soul back into your body.”

“How are you going to do that when I can't even leave your house?” Jared whined.

“I don't know,” Jensen replied. “What happens when you try?”

“I bounce back like I'm hitting a giant balloon. It doesn't hurt like whatever you did to your bedroom, but I can't get through it.”

“The salt lines hurt you?”

“Yes, but it's my own fault. A person should feel safe in their own home and I took that from you. I'm sorry.”

They were quiet for a moment, then Jared asked, “Why don't you exorcise me? Isn't that what all these books are for?”

“If I do that, where will you go? I don't know if you'll go back to your body and what if you can't come back here? What we need is an expert. I should call Chad. Maybe he knows what to do.” Jensen pulled his hoodie off over his head.

“There's that smell again,”Jared murmured distractedly. “I know that smell. You smell like my mom.”

“Oh. I, uh, kinda bumped into her at the hospital,” Jensen explained.

“My mom? You saw my mom?” Jared asked in a voice that sounded on the verge of tears.

“Yeah. She was visiting you at the hospital.”

“Did you talk to her? How is she? Is she okay?”

“No, Jared. I didn't talk to her. I wouldn't have known what to say, how to explain what I was doing there. She was walking into your room just as I was leaving it and we sorta crashed into each other.”

Jensen heard a soft gasp and then a pop from the speakers as the temperature around him returned to normal. “Jared?” he called but got no answer.

Jensen decided to leave the equipment on in case Jared wanted to talk. He showered and got ready for bed. As he stepped into the hall, he felt an instant chill. “Jared?”

From downstairs the disembodied voice whispered, “I miss them so much, Jensen. I have to get back to my family.”

“And you will Jared.” Another burdened breath came from the living room. Jared sounded like he was close to tears again. “Let me get dressed and I'll come back down and we'll talk. We'll figure this out.”

 

When he returned to his living room Jensen heard a frustrated growl from the speakers. “Jared? What are you doing?”

“I'm trying to get out! Why can't I just leave?”

“I don't know. I don't know what could be holding you here.”

“What if they pull the plug? What if I've been in that coma for so long that my family loses hope and they --”

“That's not gonna happen,” Jensen assured him, suddenly wishing he could put an arm around Jared to comfort him.

Jared sniffed. “You don't know that.”

“Yes I do. You should have seen your room. It was full of flowers and balloons and shit. Your friends and family want you back, Jared. No one's pulling any plug.”

A quiet “Thank you” followed by a sniff came over the speakers.

“Tell you what,” Jensen began. “Tomorrow after work, I'll stop by the hospital and check on you and then I'll stop by the bookseller to see if he has any advice.”

Jensen instantly became horribly cold. “J-J-Jared?”

“Thank you Jensen.” Jared said from the speaker. “I'm trying to hug you, but I guess that doesn't work.”

Jensen felt the chill easing off. “No, I guess not. You are able to freeze my nuts off though.”

 

The next day Jensen crept into Jared's hospital room, hoping to get in and out without being noticed. He looked at Jared's chart and sighed. It was all in medical jargon and he couldn't understand it. He looked over at Jared's resting form. _Geez the guy's good looking_. He moved around the bed to stand next to Jared. Jensen put his hand on Jared's arm and squeezed. “You're gonna be okay, Jared. We'll figure this out, I promise.”

Jared's leg was in a cast, but other than that, he looked fine. He had a few stray hairs growing on his face like a sad attempt at a beard. Jensen wanted to shave him. He reached up to stroke Jared's cheek when he heard a surprised “Oh!” behind him.

Jensen dropped his hand and spun around to find a stunned Megan Padalecki. “Uh, I, uh, I was just...” he pointed to the door, but Megan stepped in his path.

“Oh my god. Oh. My. God. It's you. I knew it. I told my mom but she's too worried to think straight.” She wrapped her arms around Jensen and squeezed him tightly. “I'm so glad you finally found us.”

Jensen was bowled over by the girl's sudden hug and had no idea what she was talking about or what he should say. “What?” he squeaked as he stood stiffly, not returning the hug.

Megan pulled back and blushed scarlet. “Oh my god, I'm so embarrassed. You are Jared's boyfriend, aren't you?” Jensen's eyes widened in shock. “It's okay. We know.” She patted his arm in support. “Jared came out to us the day before all this happened.” She waved her arm at her brother. “I knew he had a boyfriend!” She grinned up at Jensen. “I don't think he would have come out like he did if he didn't and then this happened and I didn't know how to find you. It's not like his phone had you listed under boyfriend or anything.” She grabbed Jared's hand and with her other one she held onto Jensen. “Tell me all about you. How did you finally find us? Or have you been visiting all along and this is the first time you've been caught?”

Her enthusiasm was contagious and Jensen found himself wanting to deny the truth. “I'm,” he coughed, “I'm not Jared's boyfriend. We just, I mean, we hardly --”

Megan rolled her eyes. “Fine. No labels. Whatever.”

She looked Jensen over and stuck out her hand, “I'm Megan, Jared's sister, obviously.”

Jensen shook her hand. “Jensen.”

“How did you find out Jared was in the hospital, Jensen?”

Jensen cleared his throat again and gently pulled his hand back. “Your, uh, facebook post.”

“Really?” Her smile became even brighter.

“Yeah.” He shifted his feet uncomfortably. “I should get going.”

“Oh, okay. I'm just so glad you were here.” She grabbed Jensen's arm. “Jared's gonna get better, you know.”

Seeing an opportunity Jensen asked, “What's wrong with him? I mean, what happened? He looks fine.”

Her smile faded and she squeezed Jared's hand. “He is fine. He, he just won't wake up.” She looked up at Jensen. “He was hit by a car, but you know that if you read my post. The doctors think something else may have happened.”

“What do you mean something else?”

“Not all of Jared's injuries were caused by the accident. But until he's conscious we won't know what happened.” She smoothed a hand down Jared's arm. “I bet when he realizes you're visiting, he'll wake up.”

Jensen tried to give her a hopeful smile. “I'm sure Jared will come back to all of us soon.”

 

He left Megan with a promise of visiting again soon and drove to Chad's store. It was a few minutes before closing and Chad was packing supplies into a box. When the door chimed with Jensen's entrance, Chad greeted him with a smile. “Hey, man, how's the ghost investigation coming along?”

Jensen sighed. “Do you have a minute? This might take a while.”

Chad noticed Jensen's nervous aura and nodded.  “Sure. Let me lock up and you can tell me what happened.”

Jensen told Chad everything about Jared. From the transmitter/speaker system he invented to visiting Jared in the hospital.  Though he appeared eager to interrupt, Chad stayed quiet until Jensen had finished.

“Well first of all that thing you built sounds mighty impressive but I warned you about talking to ghosts.” Chad stood and began pacing. “What if that isn't really this Jared that you're talking to?  What if it's a spirit trying to lure you into something?”

“What? No. He knew too much stuff about Jared.” Jensen dismissed the idea with a shake of his head.  “And you should have heard him.  He sounded like he was going to cry when he talked about his mom.  I don't think an evil spirit could have been so convincing.”

Chad raised a brow at that assumption but didn't argue. “Either way, I don't think you should communicate with him anymore. At least not without someone else there with you.” Chad looked at the clock. “Look, I've got somewhere I've got to be tonight, but my friend Traci and I will come by your place tomorrow night and the three of us will talk to this Jared and figure out how to get him out of your house.”

“Thanks man.”  

 

Relieved that he was getting expert help, Jensen ignored Chad's advice.  He couldn't wait to talk to Jared the moment he got home.  It had been a long time since he was excited to talk to anyone.  He couldn't remember the last time he cared this much about someone else.  

The feeling gave him pause. Why Jared?  Jared certainly wouldn't care about him if he wasn't trapped in Jensen's house.  Guys like Jared used to shove him into lockers.  Yes, Megan had said Jared was gay.  Jensen knew plenty of guys that were 'gay' on a cold and lonely Thursday, just long enough for a blow job. Those same guys would beat the crap out him for making eye contact on Friday.  

Maybe Jared wasn't like that, but Megan also said Jared had a boyfriend.   Jensen's mood fell. If Jared was a nice guy, out there somewhere some boyfriend was worrying about Jared.

 

The excitement he felt a few minutes ago drained from his body and Jensen dragged himself into his house. He had left his television, the generator and the transmitter on so Jared could stay powered up.

“Jensen! You're back!” Jared greeted him cheerfully from the stereo speakers. “I want to tell you about something I saw on tv today.”

Jared's eagerness made Jensen feel worse.  “Sure, Jare, what was it?” he asked flopping down on the couch.

The room was quiet except for the television.

“Jensen, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“You’re a terrible liar. Come one, I can tell you’re upset about something, what is it?”

“I went to see you, like I told you I would. Your sister was there today.”

“Megan came to see me? I must be dying.”

“You're not dying,” Jensen assured him quickly. “You're fine. Just like yesterday.  Everyone wants you to wake up.”  Then Jensen remembered what she said about Jared's injuries.  “She did say something about you having injuries besides the ones caused by the car.  Do you remember anything happening before the car hit you?”

“No. That whole day's a blank.”

Jensen snorted. “Figures.”

“What figures?”

Jensen wondered what he should share with Jared. “Your sister said you came out to your parents that day. Do you remember that?”

It took a moment before Jared answered sounding unsure. “No.”

“You don't remember being gay? Maybe the car accident knocked it out of you. My dad used to say he'd smack the fag out of me.  Maybe it actually worked for you.”  Jensen took a breath to calm himself and willed his voice not to shake.

The couch shifted and his side became incredibly cold. “I'm sorry.” Even though his voice came from across the room, Jensen knew Jared was next to him.

“Don't be.” Jensen sighed. “You can't help what you don’t remember.”

“I’m sorry about your father. I remember being gay, Jensen. I mostly remember hiding it and being terrified if my parents or friends found out.”

Jensen nodded. He could relate to that fear. “Well your sister has a theory about that. She thinks you came out because you have a boyfriend.” When Jared didn't respond Jensen added, “So somewhere there’s a lucky guy wondering what happened to you.”

The cold left his side and the couch creaked again.  “I doubt it,” the speakers said quietly.  “Wouldn't he have come to see me already? Wouldn't my sister know him?”

“Well,” Jensen felt himself begin to blush. “Funny thing is she thinks I'm your boyfriend.”

“I wish.”

Jensen chuckled. “Jared, the joke is to say 'you wish'.”

“I do wish.”  Jensen shook his head, not wanting to fall for Jared's line. “Jensen, you're smart, you're nice, you're fucking hot. I do wish you were my boyfriend. I was too afraid to be dating anyone.”

Jensen didn't believe Jared. He couldn't. People like Jared weren't going to hurt him anymore.  He had promised himself that when he moved across the country.  Some sweet talking ghost wasn't going to change that.  “Didn't you have something you wanted to tell me about? Something you saw on tv?”

“Smooth subject change.”

“Yeah I’m like silk, what did you want to tell me?”

“Fine,” Jared sighed. “On this one show there was an old guy who was a ghost and he couldn't leave a hotel room because whatever he was linked to was in that room. But then he possessed a hotel maid and he was able to leave.”

“What do you mean 'possessed'?”

“It was like he blended into her and then she had to go help these guys he had been with.”

Jensen's brow wrinkled in thought.  “What are you trying to say, Jared? You want to try to possess me?” He hoped his voice didn't betray his fear.

“We don't even know if it would work. It was just something on a tv show. I don't know what he did to make her do what he wanted,” Jared replied hoping to ease the nerves he heard in Jensen's voice.  “I wouldn't control you, but maybe it'd be enough to get me out the door.”

Jensen thought about it a moment. “Okay, wait a minute. Why should I trust you? What if you don't let me go?”

“Why would I want to stay in your body when I have my own?” Jared sounded affronted at the accusation.

“Because yours is asleep in a hospital bed and mine is right here and doing fine.”

“I thought you wanted me out of here. Wouldn't it be a good idea to try something that might accomplish that?”

Jensen began to pace. Yes he wanted Jared out of his house, but could he trust him enough to let him use his body? “Hold on,” Jensen said as he was struck with an idea. “I'll be right back.”

Jensen went to the basement for the bag of salt and made a line by each door. Then, he raced up the stairs to his room. He placed his jacket, his wallet, his car keys and his cell phone on the bed. Jared wouldn't get far without those things. If he could trust Jared, this wouldn't matter. But now every exit was blocked with salt lines. Jared couldn't leave without Jensen's permission.

Jared watched Jensen with fascination. When Jensen returned to the living room, Jared asked, “Why did you put down salt  by the doors?”

“They're my insurance policy,” Jensen replied. “I like you, Jared, but I don't know you well enough to  trust you with my life.”  He put his hands on his hips and spoke to the empty room. “Now, how are we going to do this?”

“I don't know. Are you sure you want to?”

“Yes. Jared, I told you. I want to help. I just need to feel safe. Now, tell me what they did on the show”

“The old guy simply walked into her.”

Jensen took a breath. “Okay. So, walk into me.”

“Here goes.”

Jensen felt an instant icy sensation then just a chill.  “Jared?”

“I went right through. I didn't stay.”

“Okay, well try again and stop this time.”

Again the ice gripped him and Jensen shuddered.  “Whoa, weird.”  The voice echoed from the speakers, but it was also in Jensen’s head and he felt it in his throat.

“Jared?” His voice sounded oddly muffled, but he could also hear and feel Jared giggling.

“That is so weird!” Jared laughed.  “Move your right arm like you're waving at someone.”  Jensen did it as easily as before.  “Okay, now my turn.”  Suddenly Jensen's left arm rose and it waved his hand.

Shocked, Jensen jumped to the side and immediately knew he lost Jared.  “Sorry, that freaked me out.” He went to stand in the same spot. “Let's try again.”

They spent several minutes trying to share the same space and move but Jensen seemed to move too quickly or Jared had too long a stride for them to stay together.  “Maybe we should sit down,” Jensen suggested.

“What does this feel like to you?” Jared asked.

“Cold. I am fuckin' freezing.”

“Sorry,” Jared mumbled and Jensen felt him pull away.

“No! Come back. We've got to keep practicing.”  He felt the chill return. “Does it feel like anything to you?”

Jared thought a minute.  “Yeah. It feels heavy. Like you weigh a ton.”

“You calling me fat?”

“No,” Jared laughed. “I guess I don't weigh anything like this and I forgot how much work it is to move a body.”

“Can you feel it when I scratch my head?”  Jensen asked as he reached up and scratched.

Jared chuckled.  “Yeah, but I'm taller than you so you're like scratching my ear.”  Jensen's right arm rose. “Can you feel this?” Jared asked as Jensen pinched his own left arm.

“Ouch, yes. Stop it asshole.” Jensen pulled his arm back and the chill left it for a moment.

“What about this?”  Jared asked as he tickled Jensen's side making him jump and lose contact.

“Yes!”

“So, you're ticklish, hey?” Jared laughing over the speakers.

“Yes,” Jensen said trying to hide a smile behind a grumpy scowl. “And that's not fair. It's not like I can tickle you back.”

“Sorry,” Jared giggled. “Hold still. We should keep practicing if we're going to make it to the hospital.”

“Okay.”  Jensen stood perfectly still and felt a chill slide around him. He slowly lifted his right hand to brush at a spot right over his head. His fingertips grazed cool air.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Jared asked from the speakers and inside Jensen’s head.

Jensen shrugged, embarrassed. “Seeing if I could touch you.”

“It was weird. It felt like you were messing up my hair.”

“Well I wouldn’t want to mess up the invisible boy’s hair. I mean poor guy’s got to look good for all the other invisible people in my house.” Jensen raised his hand and tried to touch that same spot of space above his head.

“Stop it,” Jared laughed and the chill that surrounded Jensen shifted and swayed. “Come on, we need to practice this.”

“Okay, you’re right. Let’s try walking to a count like 1,2,3,4. Even if our legs don’t match up, maybe if our centers stay together we can do this.”

“Like marching, like in _Stripes_ ,” Jared suggested making Jensen smile. Anyone who liked Bill Murray couldn’t be too bad.

They practiced the rest of the night. Jared would count and eventually they  walked the length of Jensen’s house. “Oh my god! I think we could actually do this!” Jared sounded happier than Jensen had ever heard him.

Even though Jared’s voice was coming from the other room, Jensen felt his smile and put a hand to his face in disbelief. Jensen’s own smile left him as he realized they had been making a crucial mistake. “Shit Jared, I’m going to have to count because we can’t take the equipment with us so I won’t be able to hear you.”

The chill left him and Jensen knew Jared had stepped out of his body.  “People are going to think you’re a freak counting out loud while you walk.”

“Look at me Jared. People already think I’m a freak.”

“I think you’re gorgeous.”

Jensen’s cheeks flamed and he ducked his head. “Shut up, Jared.”  He felt a chill brush his cheek and he shivered.

“No, you’re honestly the best looking guy I’ve ever met. And I wish I wasn’t like this so I could,” he paused suddenly nervous, “you know, ask you out or something.”

Despite his fear of closeted jocks, Jensen nearly smiled. “Well if that’s ever going to happen, we have to get you back to your body so let’s try it again with me counting.”

“Okay,” Jared said without disguising his excitement.

They walked  to the living room and Jared cheered, “We did it!”

But Jensen wasn’t smiling. He was staring at his equipment. How much of that power was Jared using to get across the house?

“What’s wrong?” Jared asked slipping away from Jensen’s body.

“We’ll have to try again tomorrow without the power source,” Jensen said pointing to the generator.

“Shit, I forgot all about that. This is useless isn’t it?” Jared asked in complete defeat.

“No. It’s not Jared. Besides I’ve got a back-up plan. The ghost expert and his friend of his are coming over tomorrow night.”  Jensen warmed and knew Jared moved further away.  “Jared?”

“Why? I'm not a ghost.” Jared's voice came from the speakers sounding betrayed.

“I know, but I asked him before we tried this.  And we have to get you back to your body, Jared. You won't get better if you're stuck in my house,” he explained.  “If your blending idea works, maybe we won't need him.” Jared didn't respond.  “Hey, I promise I'm not going to let him hurt you, Jared. Chad wants to help.”

“Promise? ‘Cause I would rather stay here than be sent into … wherever.”

“Jared, I promise I’m not going to let them send you anywhere but back to your body.”

His body became chilled as Jared joined him again. “Okay, if you promise, I trust you.”

Then his left hand shook his right one.

Jensen rolled his eyes. “This is so weird. I’m glad no one can see me shake my own hand.”

 

* * *

 

Jensen thought his day would never be over. Everytime he looked at the clock the hands hadn’t moved.  He tried to concentrate on his work, but all he could think about was Jared.  Part of him was looking forward to finally being alone. But he wasn’t fooling himself, he was going to miss Jared. It was nice being the focus of Jared’s attention and having someone who listened to him.

However, Jensen knew Jared deserved his life back. His family definitely deserved to have Jared alive and well. Accepting that didn’t make it easier for Jensen to let go of the only friend he made since he arrived. The thought of Jared no longer knowing him hurt Jensen in a way that surprised him.

Closeted jocks must be his type, even if they hurt him and broke his heart.

Jensen didn’t want to show his concern to Jared, the poor guy was so worried about what Chad was going to do that he didn’t need more stress.  

* * *

 

Chad  and his friend arrived at seven o’clock just like they promised.  As they entered, Chad said, “Hi, Jensen. This is my friend, Traci. She's a psychic. She's going to communicate with your spirit.”

Instead of saying 'hello', Traci doubled over with her hands covering her ears. Alarmed, Chad wrapped his arms around her. “Traci?'

“It's so loud,” she shouted over noise only she could hear. “Turn it down! You've got to turn it down!”

Concerned, because he couldn't hear anything, Chad looked to Jensen for help. Jensen turned off an amplifier and then went to each extra appliance one by one until Traci uncovered her ears.

“What the hell have you got going on here, hun?” she asked as she straightened up.

“It's for Jared,” Jensen explained. “If I give him enough power we can talk in real time over the speakers. I didn't know it would hurt you.”

Traci sat on Jensen's couch and closed her eyes. After a few moments she said, “It's okay Jared, we won’t hurt you. You don't have to be afraid.” She looked up at Jensen. “Why is he afraid of us?”

Jensen shrugged. “Because he's not a ghost and he doesn't know what you guys are going to do to him.”

Chad and Traci exchanged looks. “He's right,” she said. “He's not a ghost. He's much too lively to be a ghost.” She looked around the room. “Jared? Please come talk to us. We want to help. I promise neither of us will hurt you.”

Jensen felt a chill grip his hand and he made a fist like he was holding Jared's hand. Traci looked just to the right of Jensen and said, “Hi Jared.”

“You can see him?” Jensen asked.

Traci shook her head. “I can't really see him. It's more I sense his presence.” She looked at the spot next to Jensen. “I see a bright energy next to you,” she explained then turned to Chad. “He's brighter than anything I've ever seen before. Definitely not a ghost.”

A moment later the speakers crackled, “Hi.”

Chad looked around the room in awe. “Holy Shit!”

Jensen sighed in relief.

“Jared, my name is Chad. I'm a paranormal investigator. My friend, Traci, is a psychic. We've helped lots of ghosts move on and I think we can help you, too. Why are you in Jensen's house? What's keeping you here?”

It took a few seconds, the lack of power causing a delay, but finally Jared said, “I don't know.”

“Okay, what brought you here?” Chad asked.

“I don't know.”

“Yes you do, Jared,” Traci said. “Go back to the night of your accident. What do you remember?”

“Nothing.”

Traci shook her head. “No. you remember something. It's something that scared you. What is it Jared?”

“I don't know. I remember thinking I'd be safe here.”

Traci nodded. “Jensen's house made you feel safe. Why? What is it about Jensen's house that makes you feel safe?”

“Jared, it's okay,” Jensen said quietly. “You can tell us.”

After a few minutes Jared said, “There was a rainbow.”

“A rainbow? Was it raining?” Chad asked.

“No,” Jensen told them,  “and the accident was at night. Jared, how did you see a rainbow at night?” Jensen asked.

“Your house had a rainbow,” Jared said again.

Suddenly Jensen lit up. "Wait! I know what you're talking about!” He pulled open the curtains on the front window. Curtains he had kept closed since he moved in. "Jared, is this the rainbow you saw? Susan's LGBT safe house decal?"

"Could he see that from across the street?" Traci asked.

"Sure. Before I moved in Susan kept these curtains open and there was a bright light in this window. She explained it was to let LGBT youth know that if they felt threatened they would be safe here. I had to agree to those terms if I was going to keep the decal on the window."

Chad looked around the room. “Jared, why did you think you needed a safe house? What happened?”

“I don't know.” Jared's answer was suspiciously quick.

“Yes you do, Jared,” Traci prodded. “Tell us what happened. It's the key to getting you back where you belong.”

The room was quiet for several long minutes. Then Jensen felt an icy chill and knew Jared was next to him again. “It's okay, Jared. You're safe and nothing can hurt you here.”

“I had just come out to my parents,” Jared began, his voice no louder than a whisper. “I wanted to tell my teammates, too. I didn't want to hide anymore. They used to make gay jokes all the time and it bothered me. I wanted them to stop. I thought that if they knew a gay person they would stop.”

“That was brave of you, Jared,” Traci said hoping he'd continue.

“I went to their house on Walnut. Not all of them were there, only Chad, Steve, and Brendan.” Jared stopped speaking.

Jensen thought about his own interactions with jocks. “Did they hurt you, Jared?”

“They started saying stuff and pushing me. They kept at it until I was shoved out of the house.”

“What happened next?” Traci asked.

Jared took a shaky breath. “I fell down the steps and Brendan starting saying how he didn’t want a fag like me on the team. Next thing I know he’s on top of me punching me and calling me names and…” his voice broke.

“Stop. You don’t need to tell us any more.” Jensen closed his eyes. “I’m sorry, Jared. I’m so sorry.” Jensen was instantly freezing. He wrapped his arms around himself, hoping it felt like a hug to Jared. He stayed like that for a long moment trying his hardest to be strong for Jared. All he wanted to do was cry or go after the guys that had done this to Jared.

Traci stared wide eyed as the bright aura enveloped Jensen. It almost looked like an embrace. She blinked to clear that impossibility from her mind. “Jared, can you tell us what you remember about the accident?”

Jensen warmed, meaning Jared had pulled away, but Jensen desperately wanted him back.

Jared cleared his throat. “Brendan got tired of punching me I guess ‘cause he climbed off me, kicked me a few times and then said something. I don’t know what exactly, I was hurting too much to pay attention but it made me want to leave. I knew I had to get out of there fast or things would get worse.”

“He threatened you,” Jensen said.

“I remembered the house with the sticker on the window and what it meant. I knew it was only a block or so away. I thought if I could just get there, uh here, I’d be safe,” Jared stopped speaking and Jensen felt the temperature shift.

“Jared?” He looked from Chad to Traci.

“He's gone. He's not in this room anymore,” Traci told them.

“Jared!” Jensen yelled. “Come on, man, I know it sucks but get back here.”

Jared's voice came from the speakers. “They were my friends, Jensen. My friends did this to me.”

“I know, man, and I'm sorry.” Jensen turned to Traci. “Look, he doesn't need to talk about it. We know why he's here. He thought this was a safe place. Don't make him talk about it.”

Traci looked like she was about to argue when Chad asked, “What hospital is he in?”

“Saint Michael’s. Why?”

“That house is on a direct path between here and there. That’s why he can’t leave,” Chad said.

“He doesn’t want to go past their house,” Traci and Jensen said in unison.

“If he’s afraid to go past them,” Chad began, “how can we get him to leave here and get back to his body?”

“What if we went with him?” Jensen suggested and Traci and Chad looked at each other in confusion. Before they could question him, Jensen yelled, “Jared, let’s show them what we can do. Maybe they can help us.”

A moment later Jensen felt a chill and smiled, but Jared wasn’t connecting with him. “Jared?”

From the speakers Jared said, “Before we do this, I need you two to promise not to hurt me and you’ve got to understand that Jensen is okay with this and that I’m not hurting him.”

Jared’s ramble had the opposite effect on the paranormal investigators. Eyes wide with concern, Chad turned to Jensen. “I told you not to mess with stuff you don’t understand. What is he doing to you?”

“Nothing,” Jensen assured him.

Traci patted Chad’s arm. “Let’s see what happens. We can always step in if we have to.”

“Wait a minute,” Jensen stood up, defensive. “Jared  can’t do anything unless I let him and it takes both of us concentrating to do it.”

“Jensen, we can’t,” Jared said quietly.

“Yes, we can, Jared, I won’t let them hurt you, I promise.”

“It’s not that, but thank you. It’s the power. I need the power and if it’s on it hurts Traci.”

“Oh, right.” All eyes turned to the psychic.

She shrugged. “We can start by turning on one at a time until it works for you and doesn’t hurt me.” She suggested.

“Wait, I’ve got noise cancelling headphones in my kit. I’ll be right back.” Chad scurried from the house returning a moment later with the headphones in hand. He gave them to Traci and turned to Jensen “Okay, I’ll turn these on and you tell me when it’s working and Traci will make sure you’re safe.”

“What?” Traci yelled.

“Watch out for Jensen!” Chad shouted.

Upon Traci’s thumbs up, Chad turned on the generator. “Come on, Jared, we can do this,” Jensen whispered. “Just like last night.”  He felt Jared trying to occupy the same space as him and grinned. “Hey, buddy, let’s show them what we can do.”  Jensen took a deep breath and relaxed and Jared tried to move his arm, but couldn’t.

“More power please.”

Chad turned on the amplifier and transmitter. Traci nodded and the guys tried again. This time Jared was able to make Jensen wave as he said “Hi” over the speakers.

Chad gasped and sat on the floor, but Traci was excited. “Cool! What else can you do?”

“We can walk,” Jensen told her and began to count off. Jared didn’t move with him. “What happened?”

“More power,” Jared said sounding a little defeated.

Chad plugged in some of Jensen’s other devices and Traci grimaced but gave him another thumbs up.

Jensen counted again and they walked across the room and Jensen whooped in joy. When they turned around, Chad and Traci were exchanging concerned looks and Chad began shutting off the equipment.

“Hey!” Jensen yelled and rushed over to stop Chad.

“They separated!” Traci yelled.

“Yeah I told you Jared can’t do anything unless I let him,” Jensen explained.

Traci removed the headphones and said, “Jared, I know you’re not going to hurt Jensen, but we’ve got to find another way to get you whole again.”

“Why? This works. We just need help getting out the door. And well I don’t think I could drive with Jared controlling half of me-”

“Dude, it’s more than that.” Chad sat next to Traci. “This is a shit ton of electricity. How are you going to take that with you?”

“I don’t know,” Jensen admitted quietly.  “Maybe I can come up with a battery pack.”

“Do you know how big that battery would have to be?”

Jensen shrugged but wasn’t ready to admit defeat. “That’s why you’re here. To help me think of something.”

“Even if we could hook something up in my van. How do we get you to the van and from the van to Jared’s hospital room?”

“I don’t know.” Jensen slumped onto his couch in despair.  Chad was right. The battery would have to be the size of several car batteries and how would they get something like that into Jared’s hospital room unnoticed?

Traci was staring at the spot where she thought Jared was standing. Finally she spoke up. “Jared, do you want to press charges against the assholes that did this to you?”

“No, I don’t know, I don’t think so. No, probably not.”

“Jared,” Jensen couldn’t believe he was hearing this. “They practically put you in a coma.”

“No the car did that. It would be bad for the team if--”

“The team!” Jensen jumped to his feet. “Are you kidding me?  The precious team did this to you, Jared. They shouldn’t be allowed to get a free ride through school while thinking they can do whatever they want. They nearly killed you, Jared.”

“But--”

“He’s right, Jared,” Traci said. “These guys think it’s okay to hate and to hurt others. They get rewarded for their actions with scholarships and a place to live.”

“They could do it again,” Chad said.

“They could do it to me,” Jensen argued. “What if they see me on the street? They could come after me, too. Or some poor high school kid. You know, some guy that’s not sure yet and maybe talks to the wrong guy. Jared, you have to stop them.”

Silence fell upon the room as Jared thought. He wouldn’t allow Brendan and the others to hurt anyone else, especially not Jensen.

“So if I press charges you’ll help me get back to my body?!” Jared sounded exasperated.

Traci shook her head. “I’ll help no matter what. But I need you angry and determined, Jared. Complacent and hanging out with Jensen is too easy. You have to want to get back to your body.”

“I’ll tell the cops everything. I won’t let them hurt anyone else. But Jensen,” he paused and sounded nervous, “do you think, when this is over, can we still be friends?”

Jensen smirked to hide his hope. “Depends. If awake you is less annoying than spirit you, I might consider it.”

Jared huffed a small laugh. “Jerk. How do we get me back to my body so I can annoy Jensen in person?”

“I think I know of something we can try,” Traci said checking her watch. “What time are visiting hours over?”

Jensen looked at the clock. “In about fifteen minutes.”

Traci wrinkled her nose. “That’s not enough time.” She ran her hand over her head. “Doesn’t matter, I don’t have everything I need, anyway.”

Chad looked from a confused Jensen to Traci and asked, “Traci, darlin’, want to tell the rest of us what’s going on in your pretty little head?”

“A spell.”

Jensen made a face. He wanted nothing to do with ‘spells’.

“Not really a spell,” Traci amended. “It’s a hoodoo charm that will bind Jared and Jensen together until we can get Jared’s spirit back to his body.”

“Hoodoo?” Jensen asked.

“Hoodoo is the good magic. It’s not voodoo,” Chad explained.

“Okay,” Jensen replied not sounding convinced.  “What will we have to do?”

“Well, you and Jared are going to have to bond, get to know each other very well. Also you are going to drink a valerian root tea. It won’t taste good, but it will bind Jared’s spirit to you.”

“I can drink nasty tea if it helps Jared.”

“Thanks, man,” Jared said over the speakers and Jensen nodded.

“But before that happens, we’re going to need something personal of Jared’s,” Traci said.

“Like what? My clothes? A book?” Jared suggested, though he wondered how Jensen would get them.

“No, your hair or your fingernail clippings.”

Jensen connected the dots. “Wait a minute. Are you saying I’m going to have to drink his hair or nail clippings?”

Traci shrugged an apology. “You don’t need to drink a lot of it.  But you need to have something of his physical body to connect you to his soul.”

Jensen looked around the room. “Dude, you are so going to owe me.”

“Tomorrow, Jensen will go to the hospital to visit Jared and cut a lock of his hair,” Traci said. “Chad and I will gather the other essential ingredients and --”

“Jensen, I promise I’ll pay you back any way you want me to.”

Jensen smirked at the images his mind supplied for Jared’s interruption.

Traci raised her brow at Jensen and cleared her throat. “Chad and I will come back here and we’ll get Jared back to his body by tomorrow night.”

* * *

 

Once they left, Jensen turned on the rest of the power so they didn’t have to talk in a delay.

“How are we supposed to bond?” Jared asked at the same time Jensen said, “I’m so sorry that happened to you Jared. I wish I could have been here for you. I wish--”

“Don’t. You’re here now and it’s amazing. I thought I would be stuck like this forever.”

Jensen shook his head and sat on the couch recognizing the shift when Jared joined him.

“I know what it’s like, Jared. Back home, I was beaten up all the time for being gay. I was never knocked into a coma, but I’ve had guys like your teammates kick my ass.”

“That’s awful.”

“Yeah well, so was everything else in my life.” He paused. That was intended to be a joke, but it was the truth. “That’s why I moved here,” he continued. “Figured I’d start over where no one knew who I was. I’d make new friends, date someone, of course I haven’t done any of that.”

“Because of me,” Jared said quietly.

“No, because once a loser always a loser.” Jensen wondered if there was a word bigger than loser. If there was, then that’s what he was. His only friend was an invisible guy that he was trying to get rid of. He sighed. He was supposed to be helping Jared, not wallowing in self pity. “So, anyway, I obviously don’t know how to bond with someone, but --”

“You’re not a loser. You’re smart and you’re kind and you’d easily have a boyfriend if I wasn’t taking up all your time. I guess we better figure out how to do this so you can get on with your life.”

They sat silently for a while, feeling miserable. Neither wanted to admit that the other was a friend.

“Jensen,” Jared’s voice timidly broke the silence, “how did you tell your parents you were gay?”

“I didn’t.” Jensen toyed with his bracelet before he spoke up. “My mom took off when I was a kid. My dad, I don’t know, he found out somehow. I wasn’t exactly hiding it, but I didn’t share it with him either. One day he came home from work, barged into my bedroom, called me a ‘fuckin’ fag’ and proceeded to smack the shit out of me.” He shrugged nonchalantly. “Never did know how he found out.”

If Jared had a stomach, it would have turned. He had been afraid of disappointing his parents, but he knew they’d never hit him.

“How about you Jared? After talking to Traci, do you remember anything about telling your parents?”

“Yeah. I remember this overwhelming sense of relief when they told me that they still loved me. I think that gave me the confidence to tell my teammates.”

Jensen nodded wishing he had that kind of life, one with two loving parents. But, if he had, he wouldn’t have met Jared. He looked toward the other end of the couch where he imagined Jared sitting. A smile crept onto his face. He was glad he met Jared, it was a unique experience to say the least. “Hey,” he cleared his throat nervously, “did you mean it when you said you want to be friends after this?”

“Honestly? I want to be more than friends,” Jared replied too eagerly, he’d be blushing if he could. “But I’d settle for being your friend.”

Jensen ducked his head. ‘More than friends?’ That would be nice but… “Jared, I don’t think I could be another failed experiment for someone. Besides, you probably have a boyfriend. What I’m trying to say is if you don’t call or whatever I’m not going to hold it against you.”

"I don't have a boyfriend, Jensen," Jared insisted rather forcefully.

Jensen raised a brow in response but said nothing.

"I don't. I know I don't because I never told anybody I was gay," Jared paused.  "I saw guys on campus dating and I realized that if I ever wanted that I'd have to admit to being gay.”

“Okay. You don’t have a boyfriend.”

“What did you mean by ‘experiment’?”

“Nothing.” Jensen shrugged off the question then thought maybe he should explain. “Sometimes guys who aren’t sure, uh let’s call them curious, go out with a gay guy for sex. Then when they want something serious they get themselves a girl.”

“Well that’s kinda shitty.”

Jared’s tone made Jensen laugh. “Tell me about it.”

“That happened to you?”

Jensen nodded. “Yeah, a couple of times.”

“Jensen, I wouldn’t do that. I know I’m gay. And I know I like you. So when I’m back in my body, believe me, I’ll be looking for you.”

A spark of hope flared inside Jensen and he smiled. “We should try moving together like we did yesterday. We’re going to have to do it tomorrow, so we should keep practicing.”

“Yeah, okay.”

They practiced with the least amount of power they could. After an hour of walking around his house, Jensen wanted to see how far they could go. They walked to the door but when Jensen bent to sweep the salt away with his hand, he felt a searing pain and the warmth that meant Jared had left him.

“Shit! Jared! I’m sorry. I forgot.” Jensen cradled his hand to his chest. It felt like it had been held to a flame. “Jared?”

He sat on his couch and waited for Jared to accept his apology. “Jared? I’m sorry.”

A few minutes later Jared finally answered. “I know. I kinda forgot, too. I would have jumped out before you touched it because that hurts like hell.”

He blended with Jensen again and Jensen could feel tendrils of a painful electric shock through his body.  “Damn, that really must have hurt you. I can still feel it.”

“Oh, sorry.” Jared began to pull away.

“No. Get back here. This is good. I think this is helping us.” Jensen felt the cool tingling throughout his body. He wrapped his arms around himself like he had earlier. “I’m sorry.”

Jared chuckled. “I like you hugging me.”

“Well, it’s not really hugging you, but it’s the best I can do for now.”

“Yeah, but I can kinda feel it.” Jared sighed happily. “I like it. I wish we could do more.”

“More?” he teased, but his smile faded. It had been a long time since anyone wanted to be anything ‘more’ with him. He shouldn’t pin his hopes on a disembodied spirit.

Jensen closed his eyes and thought about the beautiful boy laying in the hospital bed. He remembered his smile in all those pictures online. An ache for that boy grew in him. He desperately wanted Jared to  mean those promises of being together when this was over.

“Tomorrow night you should be awake and back with your family. So, uh, maybe this weekend we could hang out. You could come over and,” Jensen shook his head. Yes, he wanted to be alone with Jared but, “No, not here. You’re probably sick of this place. We’ll go somewhere, anywhere, your choice.”

Jensen felt a surge of excitement deep in his gut. Then Jared’s voice came from the speakers. “Really? You would go out with me? Like a date?”

The buzz of enthusiasm was contagious making Jensen laugh. “Yes, Jared. You and me on a date this weekend. We’ll do whatever you want. But now, I want to get some sleep.” He snapped off the light on the table next to him and nestled into the couch. “Good night, Jared.”

“You’re sleeping down here?”

“Yeah. I want to be with you and I don’t want to touch salt again. I hope you don’t mind.” His arms were wrapped around himself as his eyes fell closed.

He felt rather than heard Jared’s “Good night”.

  



	3. Chapter 3

Jensen knew he was dreaming, after all he was looking down at himself lying on his couch. He was naked and hands gently caressed and explored his chest, arms and shoulders.  His heart raced in anticipation. His own eyes opened and grinned up at him.  His lips moved but he couldn’t hear the words. Instead a flame of desire ignited deep within him. He wanted to kiss those lips smiling up at him. When hair fell in his eye and his hand came up to brush it back, Jensen’s world spun. Suddenly he was in his own body smiling up at Jared.

Jared turned his head and kissed the inside of Jensen’s wrist. Jensen sucked in a breath as he realized they were both naked.  Jared was straddling Jensen’s thighs giving Jensen a perfect view.  He drank in every inch of Jared from his broad shoulders to his well defined chest and his six pack abs to his beautiful hard cock. Though he ached to touch it, to stroke it, to taste it, Jensen gripped Jared’s hips instead, his thumbs caressing the hip bones. “So gorgeous.” He sat up, wrapping his arms around Jared and kissed and savored every inch of Jared he could reach.

Jared kept murmuring “Jensen” until their mouths met in a searing kiss. The warmth of Jensen’s body next to his was dizzying but he wanted more, needed more.  Every part of Jared wanted to be touching every part of Jensen.

All at once they were laying next to each other, legs tangled, mouths only parting to gasp for air. Their hips rolled against each other, brushing their erections together to create just enough maddening friction. “Jared, fuck, Jared,” Jensen moaned as his thoughts became a tumbled mess of ‘more, yes, Jared’.

Jared’s hand moved over the curve of Jensen’s ass and squeezed, holding Jensen even closer. “Jensen,” he panted, “oh god, Jensen.” Nothing had ever felt this good, it was too much and not enough and Jared was instantly addicted. “Please.”

“Yeah, whatever you want. Just, oh god, Jared, so fucking good.” Jensen rutted against Jared, his breath shaky gasps.

Jared trembled and cried out as he came. The warm slick of Jared’s come between them sent Jensen over the edge and he came.

At the same moment,  Jensen woke up. His breath was still coming in pants and he  looked around for Jared, half expecting him to be with him on the couch. His heart pounded and he was achingly hard.  Realizing that the sex was only a dream, Jensen groaned.

* * *

 

Jensen called in sick to work, too anxious to get to the hospital to wait until the end of the day.  He removed his piercings, scrubbed away all traces of eyeliner and tamed his hair.  His closet didn’t yield the most respectable clothes,  but he had clean jeans and henley that wasn’t stained and the sleeves just covered his tattoo. His reflection made him nervous but he looked decent.

Walking out of the bath, Jensen felt the immediate cool of the hall and knew Jared was there. “Jensen? Why do you look like that?”

“Your mom might be there. Mom’s rarely approve of me.” He swallowed his nerves and asked, “Do I look stupid or something?”

“No, just different. You’re still hot.”

“Thanks, I guess.” Jensen tried to laugh off the compliment, but it made him unsure. Which look did Jared like more?

“And don’t worry, my mom is gonna love you.”

“I just need her to let me see you. I have to clip a bit of your hair for Traci’s magic tea.”

“And then tonight I’m back in my own body.”

“That’s the plan.”

 

 

Jensen tugged on the hem of his shirt, smoothed a hand over his hair and took a nervous breath.  He checked Jared's room for visitors and found it empty.  Blowing out a sigh of relief, he crept in silently, taking the plastic baggie and his Swiss army knife from his pocket.  "This is so fuckin' creepy," he said under his breath. He brushed hair back from Jared’s face, his fingers  gently combing through the rest of Jared’s hair.  Would he get the chance to do this with the real Jared - the whole Jared? Using the tiny scissors on his knife, he cut a small lock of hair.  "Sorry, dude, you know it'll grow back. Besides you have enough that no one will notice."  Then, to be fully prepared, he snipped Jared’s pinky nail. He put it in the baggie, too, and put it along with the knife, in his pocket.

"Alright, Jared, next time I see you, you'll wake up," Jensen said smiling and rubbing Jared's arm. "Everything is going to be fine.  You’ll see. We can do this."

He turned to leave but at that moment Megan and Mrs. Padalecki entered the room. "Oh, hi again Jensen!" Megan turned to her mother.  "Mom, this is Jensen, Jared's boyfriend."

Jensen grew hot with embarrassment. "I -- I'm not..."

“I mean his _friend_ that's a boy,”  Megan clarified with an exaggerated roll of her eyes.

Mrs. Padalecki smiled warmly and stretched out a hand to him. “Hello, Jensen, it's wonderful to meet you.  I'm so glad you made time to  visit Jared.”

“It's no problem, Mrs. Padalecki.” He stumbled around the chair next to Jared’s bed. “I’ll get going and let the three of you, uh, you know, chat, I guess.”

“Don’t let us chase you out of here,” Mrs. Padalecki began. “Megan and I can come back later. You can have more time with Jared.”

“Actually I have to get to work.” Jensen glanced at his wrist where a watch would be so he didn’t lie to her face. “I’ll stop by later tonight if that‘s okay with you.”

“Of course. You’re welcome to visit anytime.”

* * *

 

The moment he entered his house Jensen was surrounded by a chill and he smiled at the welcome.

“You saw my mom again. How is she?” Jared’s voice asked from the speakers.

“She looked good, she misses you. And, I got your hair and a fingernail so I’m all ready for Traci’s magical tea.”  He placed the baggie on the box coffee table.  “Tonight you’ll be back in your body and this weekend you’ll be having dinner with your family.”

“I thought our date was this weekend,” Jared teased trying once again to blend with Jensen.

Jensen closed his eyes and relaxed to allow Jared in. “Whatever you want, Jared.”

Jared groaned at the suggestion in Jensen’s voice.  “This better work.”

“It will Jared.”

Right on cue, Traci rang the bell.  “Hold on, Traci,” Jensen yelled. “Let me turn down the power.”

Once he opened the door, she entered carrying an overstuffed tote bag and a tea pot.  “Please tell me your hospital visit was successful.”

Jensen grabbed the baggie from the table. “It was.”

Traci grinned. “Excellent. I’ll go the the kitchen.  It takes about an hour to brew to full potency. By then, Chad should be here and we’ll get the two of you to St. Mike’s.”

“Thanks Traci!”  Jared’s grateful voice traveled from the speakers a minute later.

"Concentrate on  a memory or something that will hold you together. When this is ready, I’ll bring it to you.”

 

In the living room Jared and Jensen sat on the couch. “I know what I’m going to think about,” Jared said.

“Oh yeah? What?”

“The date we’re going to have.”

Jensen chuckled. “Maybe we should concentrate on the same thing. Your idea of a date and mine could be totally different.”

Jared remembered the dream from the night before.  Though he couldn’t remember any others from his time in Jensen’s home, this was a dream he wouldn’t forget.  “Well, my dream date ends with us naked on this couch.”

Stunned speechless, images of his own dream flashed through Jensen’s mind.

“Jensen?”

“Yeah, Jared. That would be...awesome.” He blushed and ran a nervous hand down his thigh. “That’s my dream date, too. In fact, I’ve had that dream.”

The few second delay before Jared spoke seemed like an eternity. “I did, too. Last night. I, uh, don’t remember dreaming while I was here, but last night I dreamt about you. About us. We were, um, you know. It was really fucking hot.”

The twinge of lust in Jared’s voice sent tendrils of desire through Jensen.  He wanted to press a hand to himself. “Okay I think we found the memory we can hold onto.”  He took a few deep breaths to calm down.

“I can’t wait to do that with you,” Jared said over the speakers in a voice that made Jensen’s efforts to compose himself futile.

 

Jensen was saved from getting too excited by Chad knocking on his door.  Once inside, Chad set down a back-pack and clapped his hands. “Alright gentlemen, you ready to do this?”

Jensen nodded. “Just waiting on Traci’s magic tea. She’s in the kitchen brewing up the magic as we speak.”

“Sweet. Alright.”  He crouched down in front of Jensen’s equipment. “Can I take a look at this stuff? You’ve got an awesome set up and I’d love to have you configure something for my team.”

Jensen shrugged. “Sure man. Knock yourself out. Anything you want, I’ll be happy to make it for you.”

Chad grinned. “Awesome, man, thank you.”

A few minutes later, Traci came out of the kitchen with a bag and a small steaming kettle.  “Jensen, Jared, you look bonded, your auras are blended. Now I need you to stand right over here while I prepare the rest of the ritual.”

She took Jensen’s hand and slowly led him to a spot on the bare wood floor.  Then she began to draw symbols in a circle around him. When she finished, she placed crystals between her drawings. Then she poured the contents of the kettle into a mug and handed it to Jensen. “When I give you the signal, you drink, okay hun?”

Jensen grimaced at the foul smelling brew. “Do I have to drink all of it?”

“Yes, we have to be sure you are carrying Jared’s spirit,” Traci explained.

Chad swept up the salt and packed Jensen’s coat pockets with power cells.

“Do I need those if I’m drinking this?” Jensen asked.

Chad nodded. “Better safe than sorry.”

“How will we know it worked?” Jared asked.

Jensen rolled his eyes. “If we make it out the door it worked.”

“I meant, how will my spirit leave Jensen and return to me?”

“Once we’re at the hospital, I’ll do another little ritual that will set your spirit free. Since your body is its natural vessel, your spirit will seek it out,” Traci explained.

“Will I wake up right away?” Jared asked not masking his nervous excitement.

Traci shrugged. “That depends on the state of your physical body.  What I can tell you is this: your body won’t wake up without your soul. So, this is your best chance to get back to your family.” She met Jensen’s eye. “You ready?”

He looked at the cup and nodded.  “Let’s do this.”

Traci lit some sage and walked around the circle chanting in a language Jensen didn’t recognize. After the first lap she pointed to Jensen and he drank the potion. Traci was nearly around the circle a second time when he finished. HIs vision momentarily blurred and his stomach churned in protest, but he kept the concoction down and Traci made the third and final  turn around the circle.

“Jensen? How do you feel?” Traci held his hand and guided him out of the circle.

“Cold. I’m fucking freezing.”  He reached for his jacket and Chad quickly handed it to him. “My heart is racing. Is it supposed to do that?”

“Sure. You’re both excited, your heart’s going to race a bit,” Traci assured him. “Chad, you ready? Let’s get them to the hospital.”

 

Jensen was worried about separating from Jared, but Chad had rigged a wheelchair with a battery pack. It provided just enough power that along with the pack in his coat and Traci’s magic tea, Jensen could feel the cold tingle of Jared’s spirit.

The next hurdle would be Jared’s family. If they were with Jared, Jensen had no idea how Traci would complete the ritual.

No one stopped them as they made their way to Jared’s room. Chad peeked in the door and motioned to them that the room was clear. Once in the room, Traci took charge. She placed her crystals on Jared’s chest and had Jensen hold his hand. Jensen didn’t understand the words she chanted, but he felt as if he was being tugged toward Jared’s body. He relaxed and thought, “Go on, Jared, this is it.” Then, sooner than he was ready, he felt warm and knew Jared was gone

Meanwhile, Chad stood watch in the hall with the wheelchair. When a woman approached Jared’s door, Chad stopped her to loudly ask if she knew the time. Inside Jared’s room, Traci tried her best to hurry but she had to knew she had to say the entire incantation. “He’s not with me anymore,” Jensen said, but Traci kept chanting quietly.

 

The door swung open and Mrs. Padalecki entered with Chad right on her heels. “Jensen?” She looked from him to Traci to Chad and back. “What’s going on? Who are these people?”

“Uh,” his mind was a complete blank. They had a plan, but he couldn’t remember what he was supposed to say.

“I’m his girlfriend,” Traci said at the same time that Chad said, “This is my cousin.”

Mrs. Padalecki looked even more confused. “What? Who are you?”

“He’s my cousin and Traci’s his girlfriend,” Jensen explained. “I asked them to come with me because Traci’s a --”

“Spiritualist,” Traci added. “Jensen asked me to pray for your son.” She turned and smiled at Jared, subtly picking up her crystals.

Mrs. Padalecki was looking at Jensen like he was the most precious child she had ever seen. “Oh Jensen, that is so kind of you.” Tears swelled in her eyes and she pulled him into hug.

Jensen froze. He couldn’t remember the last time someone hugged him. Maybe his own mother had before she left, but he couldn’t remember it.

Mrs. Padalecki moved back giving Jensen an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, Jensen.” She dabbed her eyes.  “You don’t need some strange old lady crying all over you.”

Blushing scarlet, Jensen stammered, “It’s okay. I don’t mind. You’re not old.”

“Chad and I should get going. I’m sure Jared will get better soon,” Traci said edging closer to Chad and the door.

“I hope so. The doctors are considering moving him to a long term facility,” Mrs. Padalecki told them.

“What? What does that mean?” Jensen’s eyes widened in near panic.

“He can’t stay here forever. He’s going to need round the clock attention but this hospital isn’t set up for long term care,” she explained.

Jensen turned to the bed. “Come on, Jared, now would be a really good time for you to wake up.” He shook Jared’s arm like one would do to wake someone but nothing happened.

“Jensen, I know you’re concerned, we all are. All we can do is pray and hope.” Traci’s voice was calm and soothing.

“I don’t want to get anyone too excited,” Chad began squinting at the monitor. “But I think his temperature has gone down a bit. That’s good, right?”

Jensen and Mrs. Padalecki looked at the numbers on the board in Jared’s room to his monitors then to each other. Jared’s temperature had been 101 but was back to a normal 98.6. “That’s got to mean something, right?” Jensen asked.

Mrs. Padalecki nodded. “I’m going to get a nurse. I’ll be right back.”

The moment she left Chad said, “Hey man, we’ve got to get this wheelchair out of here before the hospital staff finds it.”

Jensen nodded but he wasn’t ready to leave Jared.

Recognizing his dilemma Traci put a hand on his shoulder. “Stay with Jared. Chad and I can take care of the chair.”

 

Once alone, Jensen shook Jared’s arm again. “Come on, man. Wake up. We’ve got our date this weekend.” Jared didn’t react. “It’s going to be so much better if I’m not on the date alone,” Jensen teased but he was too worried to smile.

Mrs. Padalecki returned with a nurse who went straight to the monitor. “You’re right, Mrs. Padalecki, Jared’s temperature is back to normal. His heart rate is better, too.” She looked at Jared’s mom with real hope in her eyes. “These are good signs, Mrs. Padalecki. We’ll see what Doctor Carver thinks when he makes his rounds in the morning.”

“The morning? Shouldn’t you do something now?” Jensen demanded getting the nurse’s attention for the first time.

“We will keep monitoring his condition but Jared has been fighting off an infection and recovering from some severe injuries. What he needs is rest.”

“Rest? He’s been resting for weeks!”  Jensen’s voice was filled with indignation.

The nurse gasped, angry and resentful.

Mrs. Padalecki put her hands on Jensen’s arms. “Calm down, hon. They know what they’re doing.”

Resigned, Jensen nodded and let Jared’s mom direct him to the chair.

“What time will Dr. Carver be by in the morning?” she asked the nurse.

“He usually sees Jared around 8:30,” the nurse replied.

“Very well, I’ll be here waiting for him,” Mrs. Padalecki said polite smile gracing her features.

 

Jensen apologized the moment the nurse left, but Jared’s mom waved it off and took his hand. “Don’t you dare apologize. I’m glad you care so much.” Her eyes went to the cards taped to Jared’s wall. “His teammates haven’t stopped by, not once.” She turned to Jensen. “Do you think that’s odd?”

Jensen shrugged hoping he hid his feelings about those teammates. “School’s keeping them busy. I’m sure they’re thinking about him.”

She squeezed his hand appreciating his effort to appease her. “You’re a good boy, Jensen. I can see why Jared likes you.”

Jensen blushed again making Mrs. Padalecki smile. “Tell me about yourself.  Do you go to school with Jared?”

Lying to Jared’s mother was a crime Jensen wasn’t ready to commit.  “I don’t know what Megan told you, but Jared and I are just friends.”  Her smile faded a bit and Jensen felt it like a weight on his soul. “I really like your son and I think he likes me, but right now, we’re just friends.”

She nodded, she didn’t want to push this boy into a relationship with her comatose son. “How did you meet?”

“He stole my hat. Not to be mean,” he explained when Mrs. Padalecki’s eyes widened. “He just--”

“He was just flirting with you, that’s what he was doing.” She shook her head bemused. “His father was the same way. Always pulling pranks on me to get me to notice him. Goodness sakes the man’s six four. It’s mighty hard not to notice him.”

 

It was eerily quiet in Jensen’s house that night. The wood didn’t creak, the shutters didn’t rattle, the lights didn’t flicker. For the first time since moving in, Jensen felt truly alone. He swept up the rest of the salt from his room. Unplugged his generator, transmitter and amplifier.  He gathered the books and dvds Chad had loaned him and packed them in a box with his digital recorder. He’d take all of it to Chad someday after work.

He flipped on his television and tried to relax on his couch but memories of Jared and last night’s dream blindsided him. Jared just had to wake up.

* * *

He couldn’t afford to miss work again, but Jensen told his manager he would need an extended lunch hour to check on a friend in the hospital.  

Surprised to find himself alone with Jared, Jensen collapsed into the chair next to the bed. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I miss you haunting my house. It’s just not the same without you. I’m actually bored without your stupid pranks.” He gently poked Jared’s arm. “Wake up. Please. You've got a lot of people that want to see you.”

He had expected Jared to be awake, alert, and talking to anyone who would listen. Instead, the guy still seemed to be in a coma.  "Come on man, wake up," he whispered. "I miss you.”

Nothing from the man in the bed.

Jared's mother let herself into the room. "Oh, hello again, Jensen. It's so nice to see you again."

"You too, Mrs. Padalecki." Jensen was thankful he skipped his eyeliner and lip ring that morning.

"You can call me Sherry, dear," she reminded him as she bent over her son to kiss his cheek. "I thought he'd wake up today. He seemed restless last night after you left."

“Really? Like how? Did he move? What did the doctor say?” Jensen slid to the edge of his seat as he waited for her answers.

“Well, his heart rate went up and yes, he did move,” she paused, “he’s done that before though and it didn’t mean anything.”

She looked hopeless and Jensen was afraid to ask but he needed to know. “What did the doctor say this morning?”

She blinked a few times but tears formed anyway. “That there was no significant change and that we should look for a long term facility.”

Jensen didn’t have words to ease the despair he saw in Jared’s mom or for the ache he felt.

* * *

After work the next day Jensen some co-workers invited Jensen to join them for drinks. He knew this would be a chance to get to know them, but he hadn’t given up on Jared. He went to the hospital instead.

When he turned the corner Megan came flying out of Jared’s room. “Nurse!” She ran to the station at the middle of the floor. “Nurse call Doctor Carver! My brother’s awake!” As one nurse joined her the other picked up the phone. Megan turned and saw Jensen. “Jensen! Come on, Jared’s awake, he’s finally awake.”

Jensen joined the enthusiastic rush to Jared’s room, but stopped at the door. Should he go in? He wasn’t family and Jared should see his family first. He would be in the way of the medical staff. He would wait; give them a few minutes to look Jared over and for Jared to see his family.

When the doctor arrived, Megan left the room. She found Jensen sitting on a hard plastic chair down the hall. He was nervously picking at his black nail polish. “The doctor is examining him now,” she explained as she joined him. “We can see him in a few minutes. Donna, the nurse, said she’d tell me when.”

“How is he? Is he okay?”

“He’s Jared.” Megan couldn’t understand Jensen’s nerves. “You know how when you fall asleep in a strange place and you wake up all disoriented? He’s like that. He doesn’t know why he’s in the hospital.”

Worried he’d confuse Jared even more Jensen said, “Maybe I should go, come back another time.”

“Don’t you want to see him?”

“Yeah, of course I do, but I don’t want to confuse him. He hardly knows me.”

“Which Jensen does he know? This one?” she asked as she looked him over. “Or the one that is less, um, decorated?”

Jensen’s hand flew to his mouth. “Shit. I forgot.” He looked around for a bathroom where he could clean up. “Your mom --”

“My mom thinks you’re the best thing since sliced bread, Jensen. She doesn’t care about piercings and eyeliner.”

Jensen wasn’t going to argue. He took out his lip ring and rolled down his sleeves, embarrassed to still be in his work uniform.

Since Jensen looked like a rabbit about to run, Megan grabbed his hand and stood. “Come on. They’ve got to be almost done.”

He allowed himself to be dragged to the door of Jared’s room. They overheard the doctor say he would be back tomorrow with test results

Megan went in as the doctor left, but Jensen hung by the door.

“Oh man I must have been really bad if Megan’s here,” Jared joked from his bed, voice still rough from lack of use.

“Yes, dear, we were all very worried. Even your friend Jensen was here quite a bit,” Jared’s mom told him as she fussed with his blanket and handed him a glass of water

“Jensen? I don’t know any Jensen.”

“It’s okay, Jared. We know, remember? You came out right before this happened.” Megan kept her voice quiet

“Yeah, I remember, but I don’t know anyone named Jensen.

Figuring that if her brother saw him he’d remember him Megan went to the door, but Jensen was gone

* * *

Jensen had always kept to himself, learning young that people often disappointed each other. Being introverted didn’t mean he was lonely. He chose to leave home and his abusive family behind. He liked living alone after growing up in a crowded small apartment in the city and sharing a room with an overbearing older brother.

That was what inspired Jensen to rent the rambling old farmhouse. He liked the fact that the farmer was a stubborn holdout who didn’t sell his house even though his fields had turned into subdivisions.

Growing up, Jensen’s brother never let him listen to music. His father never let him have a pet. His sister, being the baby, got to choose what television shows they watched. When Jensen had saved enough money, he found a place where he made the rules.

After a lifetime of looking forward to being alone, Jensen found himself missing the chaos of Jared. He couldn’t force Jared to remember him. How could he explain to Jared who he was?  

* * *

One night a local headline on Jensen’s homepage caught his eye. The university lacrosse team was embroiled in a hate crime scandal. As Jensen read on, he smiled. Jared did it. He brought the team to justice for what they had done. Jensen couldn’t help feeling proud of him.

He read the story twice, but there was no mention of Jared by name.  Jensen wondered if Jared was home with his family. Was he back at school? He thought about checking Megan’s facebook page but it made him feel like a stalker.

So -- he was a stalker.

After working up the nerve to check out Megan’s facebook, all Jensen learned was that Jared was out of the hospital. There was nothing posted about her brother after that. Megan was back to being a typical highschool girl who posted about crushes on boys and television stars.

One post did intrigue him. A local animal shelter was having an “adopt-a-thon” that weekend. Jensen clicked the link. Maybe he'd finally get a pet.

* * *

Early Saturday morning Jensen was at the shelter, pre-approved adoption paperwork in hand. He watched the kittens play, stopped by the pen of bunnies which were too cute to pass by, and finally found the play area full of puppies. He laughed quietly as they tumbled over each other.

“I see you have your paperwork ready, do you have any questions? Do you have a type of pet in mind?” Next to him a petite woman with a friendly smile waited for his reply.

“Uh, yeah. What’s the deal with that one?”  Jensen pointed to a ball of black fluff shivering in the corner by itself.

The smile turned into a sad pout. “That’s Cinco. A family brought him in after his mother abandoned him.  He was the runt of the litter and the family didn’t know how to care for him.  He’s a bit nervous around other dogs so if you already have a pet, Cinco isn’t the best choice.”

Jensen smirked. Abandoned and nervous around others, he could relate. “Can I hold him?”

Her smile returned. “Absolutely.” She stepped over the short wall and gently scooped the pup into her arms. He wriggled in her hold until she placed him in Jensen’s waiting arms.

Jensen held the pup close to his chest and talked softly to him. “Hey, buddy, it’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you.” He stroked the soft fur and fell in love. The puppy licked Jensen’s fingers and Jensen smiled at the woman. “I’ll take him.”

 

An hour later the shelter worker was helping Jensen load up his car with supplies for his new pet. “He has to ride in the carrier,” she reminded him. “It’s safer.”

Jensen hadn’t let go of the puppy since she placed him in his arms. He didn’t think the little dog would like the strange cage. Carefully he took off his jacket, transferring his pet from one arm to the other before laying the jacket in the carrier.  Then he placed the puppy on top of his jacket.  The woman smiled at him. “That was really smart. You certainly have a way with animals. If you’re ever looking to volunteer, we could always use the help.”

“Thanks, I’ll think about it.”  

As Jensen drove home he talked to his little dog.  “Hey, Cinco, I don’t know if I like you being named after a number. I think I’ll call you Buddy until I come up with something better.”  The puppy yipped.  “Glad you agree.” Jensen chuckled, wiggled his fingers through the carrier’s grate and was rewarded with nips and gentle gnawing.

* * *

Back at his house Jensen followed his curious puppy as it explored its new home.  By late afternoon, Buddy had tired himself out and Jensen let him fall asleep in his lap while he watched TV.  Jensen was dozing off, too, when the ringing doorbell startled them.

Buddy leapt from his lap and barked ferociously at the door. Jensen laughed at his pint sized protector. “Good boy, Buddy! Such a good watchdog.”  He scooped Buddy into his arms and opened the door. “Yeah?”

“Whoa, you’re real,” Jared breathed from the other side of the screen door.  Jensen froze, too stunned by Jared’s appearance on his doorstep to do or say anything.

Jared stared at Jensen with wide and uncertain eyes. His friendly smile faltered, showing his nervousness.   “Uh, I mean..”

Buddy barked, snapping them out of their stupor.

“You have a dog,” Jared said with a nod to the black puff of fur in Jensen’s arms before glancing over his shoulder. “I don’t.. uh, did you…”

While Jared stammered through his muddled thoughts, Jensen’s heart and mind raced. How had Jared found him? After breaking his heart at the hospital, did Jared now know him?  “Can I help you? Do you want something?”

“You’re Jensen, right? You saved my life.”

Jensen blew out a breath. Jared was there to say thanks, nothing more than that.  “It's not a big deal, anyone would have done the same.”

“My life is a big deal to me, Jensen,” Jared argued back. “Besides, not everyone would visit me in the hospital.”

Embarrassed at being found out, Jensen bowed his head and ran a hand over Buddy. “I'm glad to see you're better, Jared. You're welcome for any help you think I gave you. Like I said, anyone would have done the same.”

“No they wouldn’t. Some people would rather use my head for batting practice,” Jared replied bitterly then shook it off.  “Look, you don’t get it. For what felt like months, I was walking around in a black and white world and you were the only thing in color.  When I woke up, I didn’t know if you were real or the product of a brain injury. But you’re real, you’re here in this house, and you remember me.”

They stared at each other for a minute then Jensen said, “You remember being here?”

“Yes,” Jared said relieved that Jensen finally understood. “I don’t remember a dog, though, so I’m a little confused.”

Jensen beamed at the dog in his arms. “This is Buddy. I just got him today.” He looked up at Jared. “Hold on. Let me get his leash and we’ll be right out.”

When Buddy and Jensen joined Jared on the porch, Jensen noticed the boot on Jared’s leg. “Oh. Can you walk with that? We can’t go far. Buddy’s only got an eight inch leg span.”

When Jensen set Buddy on the ground, Jared crouched down to meet him. “Hey Buddy,” He let the pup sniff his hand and looked up at Jensen. “I can walk as far as we need to.” He rubbed his hand over Buddy’s head then stood. “On one condition.”

Jensen raised an eyebrow in expectation and waited for Jared to continue.

“Can this be the start of our first date?” Jared held out his hand for Jensen to hold.

Jensen entwined their fingers, pulling Jared closer and smiled. “Well if anyone can make picking up puppy poop romantic I’m sure it’s you.” He took a plastic bag from his pocket. “If you pick up after Buddy, I’ll let you get to second base.”

Jared was grinning as he met Jensen’s lips in a kiss. “Totally worth it.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More of Stormbrite's art. I was so blessed to have her as my artist. go to her lj and check out all the work she's done for fics. It's amazing. stormbrite.livejournal.com


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